


The Meme Team

by wakaranai_quinn



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Christmas, Crack, DAIYA ISNT DEAD BC I SAY SO, F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, LEON WATCHES TWILIGHT LEON WATCHES TWILIGHT, M/M, Non-Binary Mitarai Ryota, Non-Binary Nanami Chiaki, Non-Binary Oma Kokichi, Non-Binary Shirogane Tsumugi, Non-Binary Yumeno Himiko, Non-binary Fujisaki Chihiro, Non-binary Shinguji Korekiyo, Non-binary character, Nonbinary K1-B0 (Dangan Ronpa), Nonbinary Tanaka Gundham, Secret Santa, Trans Amami Rantaro, Trans Celestia Ludenberg, Trans Female Character, Trans Kuwata Leon, Trans Male Character, Trans Naegi Makoto, Trans Owada Mondo, Trans Pekoyama Peko, Trans Saihara Shuichi, Trans Tojo Kirumi, Why Did I Write This?, byakuya is s a v a g e, chi is an umbrella academy fanboy, chi is literally begging everybody to watch the umbrella academy, chiaki is psychic istg, chihiro is a piece of shit /hj, chihiro is a troll, chihiro steals hiros weed, dont ask about chapter 15 i don’t know how to feel about it either, everyone makes fun of leon in chapter 12, gundham has a gay hamster, i break up ishimondo and ikuzono bc i found better ships i’m sorry, junko is junk, kokichi may or may not have made weed brownies, leon and chi try to steal mondos dog, leon had a crush on sayaka shh dont tell her, mention of mondotakamukusaya, mondo is a hatsune miku fanboy, mondo listens to musicals shh, monofilament dick gang B), nagito bleaches is hair, taka becomes a caffeine addict, thats the best i could think of in 30s, then gave them to people without saying what was in em, they discuss polyamory a lot in chapter seven lol, this has a lot of conversations i had irl and that concerns me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 25,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakaranai_quinn/pseuds/wakaranai_quinn
Summary: random crap ill keep adding to until i stop having ideas
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Harukawa Maki, Amami Rantaro/Chabashira Tenko (until chapter twenty one), Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Celestia Ludenberg/Togami Byakuya, Chabashira Tenko/Iruma Miu, Fujisaki Chihiro/K1-B0, Fukawa Touko/Hagakure Yasuhiro, Fukawa Touko/Hagakure Yasuhiro/Kuwata Leon, Fukawa Touko/Kuwata Leon, Genocider Syo | Genocide Jack/Naegi Komaru, Hagakure Yasuhiro/Kuwata Leon, Hinata Hajime/Tsumiki Mikan, Ikusaba Mukuro/Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka (until chapter sixteen), Iruma Miu/Tojo Kirumi (until chapter twenty one), Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo (until chapter sixteen), Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto, Koizumi Mahiru/Sato, Komaeda Nagito/Nanami Chiaki, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi, Maizono Sayaka/Oowada Mondo, Mioda Ibuki/Pekoyama Peko, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi, Nidai Nekomaru/Owari Akane, Shinguji Korekiyo/Tojo Kirumi, Sonia Nevermind/Tanaka Gundham, Yonaga Angie/Yumeno Himiko, Yumeno Himiko/Oma Kokichi (until chapter twenty one)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 117





	1. The Beginning...

Aoi - Hina  
Sakura - Cherry Blossom  
Hiro - 30% Right 100% High  
Leon - othernineteenpilots  
Sayaka - Idol Thot  
Mukuro - Mukuroni  
Junko - Junk  
Chihiro - Fujiswagi  
Mondo - spreadmylegslikebutter  
Taka - Mondo’s “bro”  
Byakuya - Tell them Naegi  
Celestia - big tiddy goth gf  
Hifumi - ultimateweeb  
Kyoko - Kyogurt  
Makoto - NotABasicBitch  
Toko - Komaru simp

_Fujiswagi started a chatroom ___

_Fujiswagi changed the name of the chatroom to The Meme Room ___

_Fujiswagi added 15 others ___

_Fujiswagi changed the name of 15 others ___

spreadmylegslikebutter: What the fuck

________spreadmylegslikebutter: Is my name_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Fujiswagi: Idk it was the first thing I thought of_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________big tiddy goth gf: I’m not even mad this is great_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Idol Thot: What did I ever do to you?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Idol Thot changed their name to Sayaka ___

__________Sayaka: Better_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fujiswagi: Change it back_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________spreadmylegslikebutter: CHANGE IT BACK_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sayaka: Or what?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fujiswagi: I’ll hack you_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sayaka: Haha very funny_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Sayaka changed their name to Idol Thot ___

____________Fujiswagi: Don’t test me_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Idol Thot: How did you guess my password_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fujiswagi: “Mukuro” isn’t a very strong password_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Mukuroni: wait what_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Idol Thot: Don’t do this_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Mukuroni: that’s sweet and all but what the actual f u c k is my username_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Mukuroni changed their name to Mukuro ___

______________Mukuro: that’s better_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Mukuro changed their name to Mukuroni ___

________________Fujiswagi: You made a mistake Mukuroni_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Mukuroni changed their name to Mukuro ___

__________________Mukuro: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals,and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You’re fucking dead, kiddo._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Fujiswagi: Jeez u could’ve just asked_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tell them Naegi: I would attempt to change my name back but there is a possibility that could be undone_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________30% Right 100% High: engkish pls_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Mondo’s “bro”: He means that if he was to attempt to change his name back to its original user - though there is a high chance that Chihiro would hack the account and label it “Tell them Naegi”._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________othernineteenpilots: i dont understand_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tell them Naegi: @Fujiswagi At least let me add proper grammar._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Tell them Naegi changed their name to Tell them, Naegi_

__________________Tell them, Naegi: That’s better._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________spreadmylegslikebutter: I understand a bit of what Byakuya said but that’s only bc of Taka_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Hina: I don’t understand either_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tell them, Naegi: *sighs* Tell them, Naegi._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________NotABasicBitch: He means that he’s not changing his name bc he doesn’t want Chihiro to hack him_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________NotABasicBitch: Speaking of which_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________NotABasicBitch: Chihiro can I change my name_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Fujiswagi: If I deem it appropriate_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________spreadmylegslikebutter: by appropriate do u mean child friendly or embarrassing_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Fujiswagi: Take one look at your user and tell me what you think_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Hina changed their name to Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts ___

____________________Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: This good?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Fujiswagi: Very_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Fujiswagi: Now we must summon the others_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Fujiswagi: @Everyone_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Cherry Blossom: Why isn’t my name embarrassing?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Fujiswagi: Well rlly they’re just memey_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Mondo’s “bro”: Can someone please explain what “memey” means?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________big tiddy goth gf: omfg your name-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Mondo’s “bro”: What’s wrong with it?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Kyogurt: Everything_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________othernineteenpilots: this user is actually pre swag im keeping it_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________30% Right 100% High: ye thks chihiro this is cool_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Mondo’s “bro”: I don’t understand modern slang very well but I have a feeling that Hiro’s username isn’t very appropriate..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Fujiswagi: Too bad_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________spreadmylegslikebutter: 1) chi wtf did u do to taka_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________spreadmylegslikebutter: 2) is my name stuck like this forever_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Fujiswagi: 1) I made it better_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Fujiswagi: 2) no_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_spreadmylegslikebutter changed their name to Taka’s “bro” ___

______________________Fujiswagi: Is that better?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Taka’s “bro”: they mean the same thing_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________othernineteenpilots: wait w h a t_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________othernineteenpilots: am i thinking the same as u_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________othernineteenpilots: mondo_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Taka’s “bro”: no_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________othernineteenpilots: i didnt say shit dont talk to me like that_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________othernineteenpilots: @Mondo’s “bro” r u n mondo homo homies?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Taka’s “bro”: NO_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Mondo’s “bro”: What do you mean?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Taka’s “bro”: DON’T TELL HIM_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________othernineteenpilots: r u dating?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Mondo’s “bro”: Yes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Taka’s “bro”: EBDHJS SHUT_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Mondo’s “bro”: I CAN’T LIE, OKAY?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________big tiddy goth gf: the way u can still use proper grammar like this when arguing is funny as fuck_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Junk o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh 
> 
> hi
> 
> i was too lazy to italic so have no italic

Junk: who the fuck added me to this chat

Junk changed their name to I have more personality than all of you 

__I have more personality than all of you: I swear on your souls at least make my user good_ _

__Fujiswagi: This is fine_ _

__ultimateweeb: Do I want to ask?_ _

__Taka’s “bro”: Don’t_ _

___ultimateweeb left The Meme Team ____ _

____Fujiswagi: No tf_ _ _ _

_____Fujiswagi added ultimateweeb to The Meme Team ____ _ _ _

______Fujiswagi: Ur not leaving_ _ _ _ _ _

_______Fujiswagi named the conversation Jail ____ _ _ _ _ _

________Fujiswagi: Ur in jail now_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ultimateweeb: Ok *silences phone and doesn’t ever check notifications*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Fujiswagi: U be like that then_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Fujiswagi: Anybody here that hasn’t talked yet?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Komaru Simp: Why am I_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Fujiswagi: Toko if u change it I’ll hack u_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Komaru Simp changed their name to NotAStalker ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fujiswagi: Nvm this is good_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fujiswagi: anyway_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Mondo’s “bro”: Can I change my name?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fujiswagi: No_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Mondo’s “bro”: I don’t even understand what it means._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fujiswagi: Shut the fuck up_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Taka’s “bro”: Excuse you the fuck_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Mondo’s “bro”: Mondo, you’ve corrupted him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Taka’s “bro”: What when_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Mondo’s “bro”: Someone’s been cussing in front of him, and you swear every other syllable. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Taka’s “bro”: Ofc u fuckin blame me_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Fujiswagi changed their name to Fuckiswagi ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: Yeah it was Mondo_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Taka’s “bro”: YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Mondo’s “bro”: LANGUAGE._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: wtf is happening_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________big tiddy goth gf: nobody’s going to even mention the fact that it’s 2am??_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: No its 1:57 u piece of shit_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Mondo’s “bro”: LANGUAGE._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: Next time ur wrong ur dead_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: SOMEONES MOODY-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Taka’s “bro”: Wait where the fuck is Junk_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________I have more personality than all of you: You called?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Taka’s “bro”: There she is_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________othernineteenpilots: y is she here_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: She’s in our class too_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: Can I PLS change my name?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: No_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________othernineteenpilots: bro chi do u remember when she did smth (idk idc) and mondo accidentally hit u with that dumbell_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: When the fuck did this happen_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Taka’s “bro”: @30% Right 100% High what did u do_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________30% Right 100% High: idk what_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________30% Right 100% High: oh @Fuckiswagi u want weed_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Taka’s “bro”: NO_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: Fuckin swaggy B)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: Did u just_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: Did I fucking what_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: Nvm_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: Can u change Hiro’s name_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________30% Right 100% High: y_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Fuckiswagi: y_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: It’s just_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________NotABasicBitch: Weird_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________30% Right 100% High changed their name to Weed ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Weed: U good now_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Weed: Wait wrong acc_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Back bitches_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Weed: why did u hack me_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Get haked_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________big tiddy goth gf: can we acknowledge that it is NOW 2am??_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Fuckin go to sleep if u have a problem_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: chi what the fuck do you mean “when the fuck did this happen” u were literally knocked unconscious and u were in a coma for a month until someone said something about garlic bread (hint hint me) and u fucking just sat up out of bed like youve been faking the coma and were waiting for someone to finally bribe you and how the fuck do you not remember being in a coma for a month??_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: One, holy shit its the holidays I don’t wanna read no bullshit essay_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Two, idk i was probably in a fucking coma_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: Has anybody else noticed how Taka stopped telling off Chihiro for swearing?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: Wait no_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: No I just heard someone’s door open then close_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: Footsteps_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: Another door open and close_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: I think one snuck into the others’ rooms_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: junk’s quiet_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: Wait what_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: What_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: I’m in my own room_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: is taka in there_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: No_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: *runs to takas room*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: Jk I’m too lazy rn_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mondo’s “bro”: You were talking about me?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: ok hes safe_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mondo’s “bro”: You do know that it’s rude to talk about people behind their backs?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: That’s not language Taka uses-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Reveal urself bitch_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mondo’s “bro”: You don’t think I’m Taka?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: No_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mondo’s “bro”: Identity theft isn’t a fucking joke._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: ye not taka_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Called it_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mondo’s “bro”: Fine whatever u got me_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Mondo’s “bro”: It’s Junko_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: *runs to Taka’s room*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: *actually does it because Makoto is a little lazy shit*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: Uh- one, fuck you_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotABasicBitch: Two, night night I sleep_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Do I hear screaming_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: It’s ok he’s all g_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: ok ik i hate junk but what the fuck did u do_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: Taka fell asleep and accidentally left his phone on_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: And Junko decided to be a bitch_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Fuckiswagi: Wait why the fuck was she in his room anyway_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotAStalker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: u chose the wrong time to be online_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________othernineteenpilots: fuck off or im not coming back for days_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotAStalker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Taka’s “bro”: I’m not fucking dealing with this shit rn_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________NotAStalker: That’s what she said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Fuckiswagi muted NotAStalker ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Fuckiswagi: Ok now night yall have some sleep_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Rip Chi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gets rid of italics* guys im too lazy

Weed: wheres the yogurt

othernineteenpilots: @Kyogurt give it back

Kyogurt: no

Kyogurt has left Jail

Fuckiswagi: Uhm no get back

Fuckiswagi added Kyogurt to Jail

Fuckiswagi: This is jail

Taka’s “bro”: U can’t leave 

Cherry Blossom: Honestly, I put the group on silent so I’m technically still here, just blocking out everything

Kyogurt: That sounds good *silences chat*

NotABasicBitch: No bae come back

Kyogurt: I’ll leave again

NotABasicBitch: No Kyo* come back

Kyogurt: No

NotABasicBitch: Wtf am I supposed to call you??

Kyogurt: Kyoko

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: @Cherry Blossom why do you mute the chat?

Cherry Blossom: I don’t have a lot of time and I’m not fond of others reading my notifications 

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Fair enough

othernineteenpilots: we still dont have the yogurt

Weed: i want 

othernineteenpilots: hes getting angry i cant

Mukuro: Y’all are so gay

Idol Thot: “Y’all”

Idol Thot: Also - why do you get your user as your name and I have to have Idol Thot?

Fuckiswagi: Bc ur name is fun

Fuckiswagi: Speaking of which

Mukuro changed their name to Solider Thot

Soldier Thot: I think I prefer Mukuroni

Solider Thot changed their name to Mukuroni

Mukuroni: Okay this is stupid

Idol Thot: But we were matching-

Mukuroni: Oh shit we were

Mukuroni changed their name to Soldier Thot

Soldier Thot: Now we match

Weed: @othernineteenpilots :0 we should match too

Fuckiswagi: Wait no fuck

othernineteenpilots: u probably have 69iq let me do the thinking

Fuckiswagi: Y’all are making me single

Weed: then date someone

Fuckiswagi: The only single people left are Junko and Hifumi and just... no

Fuckiswagi changed their name to Junko’s Bitch

Junko’s Bitch: Who the fuck

I have more personality than all of you: ha bitch

Junko’s Bitch: I’m changing my password

Junko’s Bitch changed their name to Fuckiswagi

I have more personality than all of you: shit i cant hack u now

NotABasicBitch: Not to sound cringe but @Kyogurt wanna match too

Kyogurt: I’m not changing my user

NotABasicBitch changed their name to Makoyogurt

Makoyogurt: I tried

Fuckiswagi: Do y’all know any single people

Makoyogurt: There’s Kiibo from Class 79-

othernineteenpilots: isnt he gay tho

Makoyogurt: No

Fuckiswagi: If I’m gonna ask him out I would hope so-?

Weed: so u wanna get rejected

Fuckiswagi: What no I’m a guy

Weed: wait what

othernineteenpilots: prove it

Fuckiswagi: chihiro_nudes.jpg

Taka’s “bro”: IM SO FUCKING HAPPY I LOOKED AT THE NAME OF THE FILE BEFORE CLICKING ON IT

Fuckiswagi: I’m 18 so its not cp

Mondo’s “bro”: Chihiro, this is inappropriate - would you mind deleting it? 

Taka’s “bro”: QUICK BEFORE TOKO SEES IT

othernineteenpilots: have u unmuted her yet-

Fuckiswagi: No

Fuckiswagi unmuted NotAStalker

NotAStalker: u made a mistake

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

NotAStalker: chihiro_nude.jpg

Fuckiswagi muted NotAStalker

big tiddy goth gf: why are there nine photos of the same nude of chihiro

Fuckiswagi: Excuse me I need to hack Toko

9 messages were unset by NotAStalker

Tell them, Naegi: I well and truly regret joining this chatroom. Chihiro, am I allowed to leave?

Fuckiswagi: No

Fuckiswagi: If you ask again I’m going to have to change your username

big tiddy goth gf: do it

Fuckiswagi: What tho

big tiddy goth gf: dms

Taka’s “bro”: Ok lets go back to talking

othernineteenpilots: how are yall

Weed: high

othernineteenpilots: ha jk i dont care

othernineteenpilots: oh uh

othernineteenpilots: share next time pls

Mondo’s “bro”: What is this about getting high, Hiro? 

Mondo’s “bro”: And Leon - I expect more from you. 

othernineteenpilots: do u tho

Mondo’s “bro”: Honestly, not really. 

Taka’s “bro”: Damn Taka rlly dropped all expectations of u

othernineteenpilots: goals

Tell them, Naegi changed their name to big tiddy goth gf’s bf

big tiddy goth gf: taka what r ur expectations of me

Mondo’s “bro”: Nothing below the best.

big tiddy goth gf: @othernineteenpilots THATS goals

Fuckiswagi: Can we get back to the before mentioned topic

big tiddy goth gf: which is?

Fuckiswagi: *ahem* dating

big tiddy goth gf: oh

big tiddy goth gf: nothing for u but dont let him be a rich bitch

big tiddy goth gf: u go for whoever girl

Fuckiswagi: *groans* I’m male

big tiddy goth gf: so am i but im still a girl

big tiddy goth gf: wait

big tiddy goth gf left Jail

Fuckiswagi added big tiddy goth gf to Jail

Fuckiswagi: 1) I’m male and I identify as a BOY-

Fuckiswagi: 2) that’s so valid :D !!

big tiddy goth gf’s bf: Firstly, Celestia why did you have to out us like this?

big tiddy goth gf’s bf: Secondly, why didn’t you tell me?

big tiddy goth gf: 1) idk

big tiddy goth gf: 2) bc i scared u wont accept

big tiddy goth gf’s bf: The majority of this chat - if not all - aren’t cishet, bar myself. 

I have more personality than all of you: yeah and even tho im cishet im aro :)

Fuckiswagi: Everybody come out

Fuckiswagi: Support Celestia

big tiddy goth gf: no u dont have to dw

Fuckiswagi: Too bad

Fuckiswagi: Idk wtf I am but uhm

Fuckiswagi: I know I’m not fucking straight

Cherry Blossom: Bisexual

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Omni demigirl :D

othernineteenpilots: idk im just watermelon

Weed: *looks at kitchenware*

Kyogurt: also omni demigirl

Idol Thot: b i

Soldier Thot: les be honest yall

Mondo’s “bro”: I don’t like to label myself. 

Taka’s “bro”: ok but idk just uh

Taka’s “bro”: mspec

Makoyogurt: do i have to

Fuckiswagi: yes

Makoyogurt: *sighs* trans and omni

Kyogurt: wait the fuck

Makoyogurt: exactly why i didnt want to do this

Kyogurt: no u removed autocapitalisation 

Kyogurt: ur very fucking valid

Makoyogurt: :D

Taka’s “bro”: I swear I’m not the reason she’s cussing sm


	4. Pp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm
> 
> bye bye italic

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: tiddy

Cherry Blossom: tiddy

Soldier Thot: tiddy

Idol Thot: tiddy

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: wait

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts named the chat Tiddy

Fuckiswagi named the chat Jail

Fuckiswagi made others unable to change chat name

Fuckiswagi: No

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: oh

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: okay

Soldier Thot: *continues* tiddy

Fuckiswagi: @ mlms here join me

Fuckiswagi: pp

Weed: pp

othernineteenpilots: pp

Taka’s “bro”: pp

Mondo’s “bro”: I don’t think this is very appropriate...

Fuckiswagi: shut the fuck up Taka

Fuckiswagi: pp

Taka’s “bro”: hey hey hey no

Taka’s “bro”: Be nice to Taka

Fuckiswagi: oh im sorry

Fuckiswagi: shut the fuck up Taka... p l e a s e 

Mondo’s “bro”: That’s still inappropriate.

Taka’s “bro”: That’s the best we can do for now. 

othernineteenpilots: wait ik this guy in class 77 

othernineteenpilots: and he used to have this “crush” on this chick but tbh i think he was faking it

othernineteenpilots: ik im stupid asf but like- he didnt like her

othernineteenpilots: comphet little shit

Weed: wait what who

othernineteenpilots: uhhh

othernineteenpilots: i cant remember

othernineteenpilots: chi just add all of class 77 how bad can this be

Fuckiswagi: ok

Fuckiswagi added 16 others

Fuckiswagi changed the name of 16 others

Hambu Rg Er: what 

Taka’s “bro”: who r u

Hambu Rg Er: wouldnt you like to know

Taka’s “bro”: its Akane

Nekoamry: I’m letting you all know I’m going to try to grow together as much as possible in this chat!

othernineteenpilots: why is that his user

othernineteenpilots: *looks at hiro*

Taka’s “bro”: *looks at hiro*

othernineteenpilots: did u give chi weed

Weed: maybe

Taka’s “bro”: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD HIRO I ALREADY DESTROYED HIM WITH SWEARING U DONT GOTTA GIVE HIM WEED

Weed: i didnt GIVE him weed-

Weed: tho that would explain why my weed is missing

Taka’s “bro”: wait what

Taka’s “bro”: chi u better answer me

lil bitch: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

meek: im in the infirmary if anybody needs bandaging

lil bitch: shut up u whore

Mondo’s “bro”: That isn’t very appropriate language in a school environment. 

lil bitch: shut your ugly face u pig

mahtiu: HIYOKO

mahtiu: STOP

lil bitch: ok

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: hi!! It’s Hina :D

mahtiu: Hi Hina!! It’s Mahiru :)

mahtiu: @lil bitch is hiyoko

mahtiu: @meek is mikan

mahtiu: the others will make their own way here

Princess: Thank you, Chihiro for adding me to this! It’s Sonia

Prince changed their name to Dark Lord

Dark Lord: Gundham

talentless bitch lol: I know I have no talent but do you have to?

talentless bitch lol changed their name to Hajime

Hajime: That’s better

Hajime: wait

hope: It’s hard to believe that you would want trash like me to be included in your chatroom!

Tetris: I think he’s dead

Hajime: Who the fuck was insulting Mikan

lil bitch: who other than usual?

Hajime: Chihiro kick her

Fuckiswagi: ok

Fuckiswagi kicked lil bitch

Fuckiswagi: there u go

W...Womn: Do I want to know?

ivuju: Ibuki does!

ivuju changed their name to Ibuki

Fuckiswagi: leon was talking abt someone and im tryna find him

perv: is it me?

othernineteenpilots: no fuck off

imposter: I doubt it’s me

othernineteenpilots: not u

The Real Boss Baby: Who the fuck put this as my user?!

The Real Boss Baby changed their name to Hiko

Hiko: I swear on your life you will be dead tomorrow

The Real Baby Shark: well, theyre gonna die anyway so...

othernineteenpilots: KAZ

The Real Baby Shark: LEON

othernineteenpilots: OK ALL MLM UNITE

The Real Baby Shark: FOR WHAT

othernineteenpilots: actually fuck it. everyone unite

The Real Baby Shark: FOR WHAT??

othernineteenpilots: THIS

othernineteenpilots: https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makoto: Makoyogurt   
> Kyoko: Kyogurt  
> Byakuya: big tiddy goth gf’s bf  
> Celestia: big tiddy goth gf  
> Hina: Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts  
> Sakura: Cherry Blossom  
> Hiro: Weed  
> Leon: othernineteenpilots  
> Sayaka: Idol Thot  
> Mukuro: Soldier Thot  
> Junko: I have more personality than all of you   
> Hifumi: ultimateweeb   
> Toko: NotAStalker  
> Taka: Mondo’s “bro”  
> Mondo: Taka’s “bro”
> 
> Hajime: Hajime  
> Nagito: hope  
> Chiaki: Tetris  
> Mikan: meek  
> Sonia: Princess  
> Gundham: Dark Lord  
> Akane: Hambu Rg Er  
> Nekomary: Nekoamry   
> Hiyoko: lil bitch  
> Mahiru: mahtiu  
> Peko: W...Womn  
> Ibuki: Ivuju  
> Fuyuhiko: Hiko  
> Kazuichi: The Real Baby Shark  
> Teruteru: perv  
> Imposter: imposter


	5. Woo Merry Xmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret Santa and other random shit

Fuckiswagi: Merry Christmas fuckers

Mondo’s “bro”: Merry Christmas, Chihiro. 

Mondo’s “bro”: Can you please stop swearing? It is Christmas. 

Fuckiswagi changed their name to *something without swearing*

*something without swearing*: This better?

Mondo’s “bro”: Much. 

othernineteenpilots: the first thing to enter this chat since the rickroll-

othernineteenpilots: is a xmas message

othernineteenpilots: at midnight

Mondo’s “bro”: But it’s 7am?

othernineteenpilots: the message sent 7 hours ago

Mondo’s “bro”: @*something without swearing* Have you been up all night or did you go to sleep?

*something without swearing*: I went to sleep duh

*something without swearing*: Santa needed to visit

othernineteenpilots: dont tell me u-

Taka’s “bro”: Shut the fuck up

Taka’s “bro”: Don’t ruin it

*something without swearing*: ...Ruin what?

Taka’s “bro”: Exactly

Mondo’s “bro”: Who’s Santa?

*something without swearing*: Ur kidding right

big tiddy goth gf’s bf: Even I know who Santa is, you plebeian. 

othernineteenpilots: byakubitch i cant even take u seriously with ur user-

*somethingwithoutswearing*: Wait Leon u just gave me an idea

big tiddy goth gf’s bf changed their name to Byakubitch

Byakubitch: I am very disappointed in all of you. 

Taka’s “bro”: I-

Byakubitch: What? Speak. Spit it the fuck out. What do you have to say? We’re all waiting for you and you’re doing nothing. You can’t even use basic English anymore. 

othernineteenpilots: jesus

Mondo’s “bro”: Nobody’s answered as to who Santa is?

othernineteenpilots: uhh hes this old dude that comes around and gives u presents at night on xmas

Mondo’s “bro”: Chihiro went to sleep so an elderly man could give him presents while he was sleeping?

Taka’s “bro”: When u put it like that Santa sounds like a creep-

Taka’s “bro”: But yea

*something without swearing*: NO theres more than that

*something without swearing*: He travels to everybody around the world to give gifts

Mondo’s “bro”: How does he go to millions - if not billions - of houses in one night? 

Mondo’s “bro”: Obviously there are timezones so he has closer to 24 hours but how does he go overseas? Does he need to catch planes?

*something without swearing*: Magic duh

*something without swearing*: Ur thinking too much into it

*something without swearing*: But anyway

*something without swearing*: What did y’all get

*something without swearing: From y’alls secret Santas

othernineteenpilots: this isnt relevant but my skateboard went missing 

*something without swearing*: Wait what

*something without swearing*: What does it look like

othernineteenpilots: its literally just plain black...

*something without swearing*: skateboard_jpg

*something without swearing*: This it?

othernineteenpilots: WHO FUCKIGN HAD CHI FOR SECRET SANTA

othernineteenpilots: BC WHOEVER IT WAS STOLE MY FUCKIGN SKATEBOARD

Mondo’s “bro”: Who did everybody get?

othernineteenpilots: im not SAYING but i got a guitar?? 

othernineteenpilots: arent these gifts supposed to be like?? $20??

Soldier Thot: Somebody got me camouflage print jeans which are GREAT so TY for whoever got it

Mondo’s “bro”: TY?

Solider Thot: Thank you

Mondo’s “bro”: Oh, you’re welcome!

Soldier Thot: Oh if we’re saying who we got after someone gets their gift then uh

Soldier Thot: Leon that guitar was expensive as fuck so u better appreciate it

othernineteenpilots: how expensive was it-

Soldier Thot: Like $200 but shh 

othernineteenpilots: no im fuCKIng paying you back-

Soldier Thot: If you pay me back I’ll use that money to buy an amp too

Soldier Thot: Like- I have an amp u can use in the mean time but eh

othernineteenpilots: *shocked* ok then

Mondo’s “bro”: I got a hand-drawn photo of Mondo and I, which I already know if from Hifumi. Thank you, Hifumi

ultimateweeb: *enters chat momentarily* Yw

ultimateweeb: Also I got drawing supplies

Cherry Blossom: Do you like them?

Cherry Blossom: I couldn’t think much else you would like...

ultimateweeb: They’re great ty

Cherry Blossom: I got a protein shaker bottle which I assume is from Hina

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Nope! I had somebody else 

Cherry Blossom: Who did you have?

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: I couldn’t think much she’d like so I got her something small plus some money

Soldier Thot: Who got something small and money?

I have more personality than all of you: I got some lipstick and some money

Idol Thot: I got some bows and clips- plus some money

big tiddy goth gf: i only got money

Makoyogurt: I got a hoodie-

Kyogurt: Sherlock Holmes books

NotAStalker: Money

Byakubitch: I only received some white formal shirts. 

Weed: i got a glass ball

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Okay, I’ll tell you all

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: I got a donut voucher (tsym!!) and I gave Junko some lipstick and money

othernineteenpilots: yw :)

Idol Thot: Who gave me bows, clips and money? 

big tiddy goth gf: i couldnt think of much else you’d like and i thought i was being rude just getting bows and clips so i threw in some money too

I have more personality than all of you: Hiro u bitch u better like the glass ball

Weed: i do-

Weed: celes u better like ur money

big tiddy goth gf: y tf would i not? 

Weed: good

big tiddy goth gf: sayaka did u like ur shit

Idol Thot: Yes, thank you!

Idol Thot: Also: I’m scared

big tiddy goth gf: y?

Taka’s “bro”: WHO TF GOT ME HELLO KITTY PJS

Idol Thot: That

Taka’s “bro”: Y must u

Idol Thot: *laughs* Glad the joke worked

Taka’s “bro”: Wdym?

Idol Thot: I actually got you something else. Come to my room

NotAStalker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Taka’s “bro”: Now is nOT the TimE 

othernineteenpilots: the fact her name is “idol thot” doesnt make it any better sjsksj


	6. I think Mondo’s dead

Taka’s “bro”: What

Taka’s “bro”: In fucks name

Idol Thot: You’re standing right next to me, can you talk to me irl?

Taka’s “bro”: No

Taka’s “bro”: dog_jpg

Taka’s “bro”: A MF DOG

othernineteenpilots: WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS BEING SPOILED WITH AN ELECTRIC GUITAR

othernineteenpilots: U GOT A MF DOG

Taka’s “bro”: I GOT A MF DOG

othernineteenpilots: BITCH IM STEALING UR DOG

Taka’s “bro”: U STEAL MY DOG IM STEALING UR GUITAR

othernineteenpilots: U CANT EVEN PLAY GUITAR

Taka’s “bro”: shit ur right

Taka’s “bro”: ILL STEAL UR GUITAR. SELL IT. THEN BUY A DOG

othernineteenpilots: OK U WIN

othernineteenpilots: WHATCHU CALLING THE DOG

Taka’s “bro”: AHHHHH

Taka’s “bro”: ILL CALL HIM BRUCE

Idol Thot: You call him Bruce and I’m taking him back

Taka’s “bro”: Oh ok

Taka’s “bro”: Can I call him Clover

Idol Thot: Yes

Taka’s “bro”: Ok good

Taka’s “bro”: I GOT A MF DOG

Taka’s “bro”: MF CLOVER DOG AHH

Cherry Blossom: Sorry to get off topic again but who gave me the protein shaker bottle?

*something without swearing*: Me :D

*something without swearing*: Who gave me my gift?

Makoyogurt: I got a hoodie- 

Taka’s “bro”: Y’all ignoring my mf dog :,(

Makoyogurt: Byakuya I hope you like your white formal shirts

Byakubitch: They’re very nice, thank you. 

Byakubitch: As for Toko - I considered not getting you a gift, but I hope you enjoy your money. 

NotAStalker: Money?

NotAStalker: Master Byakuya got me something-

*something without swearing* muted NotAStalker

*something without swearing*: Not this shit again

Makoyogurt: Now we won’t know what she got someone

*something without swearing*: Shit ur right

Makoyogurt: Eh

Makoyogurt: Who got me hoodies?

Kyogurt: Who got me Sherlock Holmes books?

Taka’s “bro”: Who hasn’t gotten anybody anything?

*something without swearing*: We don’t know who got Makoto, Kyoko or me

othernineteenpilots: and we dont know who kyoko toko or mondo got

Kyogurt: Well, Makoto I hope you enjoy your hoodie

*something without swearing*: Well- whoever got me a skateboard was either Mondo or Toko

Kyogurt: I assume that Toko bought me the Sherlock Holmes books as Mondo doesn’t seem like the type to even know the location of a bookstore

Taka’s “bro”: Rude

Kyogurt: How is it rude? It’s simply stating facts

Taka’s “bro”: Yeah ok fair enough

Taka’s “bro”: It’s not necessary tho

Taka’s “bro”: Also u ignored my mf dog

Kyogurt: I supposed you’re right

Kyogurt: Also, your dog is very cute :)

othernineteenpilots: wait that means

othernineteenpilots: @*something without swearing* ill buy u ur own skateboard

othernineteenpilots: @Taka’s “bro” was it really necessary to steal my skateboard?

Taka’s “bro”: Maybe

othernineteenpilots: yk id like

othernineteenpilots: prefer you dont

othernineteenpilots: chi can u bring me bakc my skateboard 

*something without swearing*: Uh yeah sure

*something without swearing*: Can I use it for today tho?

othernineteenpilots: idk can u?

*something without swearing*: The question was asking permission- not asking whether or not I was physically capable of doing it

othernineteenpilots: uh sure u can use it

othernineteenpilots: i sorta like

othernineteenpilots: need to teach u tho

Taka’s “bro”: I’m sorta surprised u aren’t killing me right now

Taka’s “bro”: I thought you’d be a lot angrier

othernineteenpilots: no man no violence around the child

*something without swearing*: What child?

othernineteenpilots: actually

othernineteenpilots: chi u saw nothing

othernineteenpilots: *grabs baseball bat*

othernineteenpilots: mondo u better prep urself

Taka’s “bro”: *locks door*

Mondo’s “bro”: What’s happening here?

*something without swearing*: Shit don’t let Taka see 

*something without swearing*: Ahbskak

*something without swearing*: Nandjskso

*something without swearing*: Aksjksoa

*something without swearing*: Whhsjsoa

*something without swearing*: Ahajksoa

Mondo’s “bro”: If you don’t want me to read the conversation, all you have to do is ask?

*something without swearing*: Oh ok das good

Mondo’s “bro”: Now please let me know why I hear somebody beating down Mondo’s door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah lol merry xmas everyone


	7. Gay Hamsters and Polyamory??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was too funny to write i cant

The Real Baby Shark: Did anybody do a secret Santa for our class?

Hambu Rg Er: Do you think so?

The Real Baby Shark: No-

Hambu Rg Er: Then why did you ask? 

The Real Baby Shark: Oh ok

The Real Baby Shark: Sorry

Hiko: Why do I love you

The Real Baby Shark: You love me??

Hiko: We’ve been dating for four months-

The Real Baby Shark: But you love me??

Princess: I don’t

The Real Baby Shark: Nor do I now shut up

Dark Lord: Help pls

*something without swearing*: What happened

othernineteenpilots: @The Real Baby Shark since when?? tf??

The Real Baby Shark: Since I asked him out B)

othernineteenpilots: B:| 

othernineteenpilots: nise

Dark Lord: I think my hamster is gay

*something without swearing*: I don’t see the problem??

The Real Baby Shark: Yk like- everyone here is gay right

Dark Lord: I’m not

Princess: I’m pan-

Dark Lord: I mean- I’m not gay 

Princess: You’re nb u cant be gay

Dark Lord: You can’t like the same gender if you have no gender B)

The Real Baby Shark: I’m going to cry did Gundham just use that emoji

Dark Lord: ...Yes

The Real Baby Shark: I’m gone bye

Princess: I won’t miss you

The Real Baby Shark: Ik

Weed: what’s happening-

othernineteenpilots: shh idk im just watching

NotAStalker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

*something without swearing*: Didn’t I mute u??

NotAStalker: U left ur phone unlocked so I unmuted myself

*something without swearing*: I’ve taught you all too well

othernineteenpilots: @Dark Lord continue w the gay hamster??

Dark Lord: He’s behaving differently to the others and isn’t trying to breed with the females

othernineteenpilots: dw man he just doesnt wanna become a father

Dark Lord: Oh okay

Weed: or hes gay

othernineteenpilots: ...or hes gay

Dark Lord: Well that didn’t help did it?

Soldier Thot: god what happened

Dark Lord: Gay hamster

Soldier Thot: oh ok

Soldier Thot: congratulate them for coming out

Dark Lord: No I mean I think he’s gay

Soldier Thot: then talk to him about it

Dark Lord: Okay

othernineteenpilots: how did u do that??

Soldier Thot: idk 

*something without swearing*: Good job Mukuroni

Soldier Thot: are you sassing me??

*something without swearing*: Wait yk what

*something without swearing* changed their name to Chi 

Chi: This name is better

Soldier Thot: can I change mine??

Chi: No

Soldier Thot: LEMME CHANGE

Chi: CHANGE YOURSELF

Soldier Thot: I CAN’T

Soldier Thot: YOU HAVE TO CHANGE ME

othernineteenpilots: toko requested i do this

othernineteenpilots: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

othernineteenpilots: also @Weed u good w polyamory

Soldier Thot: one) WHAT THE FUCK IM LITERALLY A LESBIAN AND I HAVE A GF

Chi: YEAH AND IM LITERALLY GAY AND I DOnt have a bf yet but i want one but stiLL

Soldier Thot: two) wtf

Weed: i was gonna ask u

Chi: Why are we discussing polyamory

othernineteenpilots: bc uh

Weed: um

Chi: O

Chi: Why don’t we make this easier for you and just everyone here say if they’re poly or not

Soldier Thot: I am not-

Chi: I am but I don’t wanna be in a poly relationship?

Chi: Like- I’m ok with my partner being poly but I’m not 

othernineteenpilots: wait no shit ur making this difficult now

Weed changed their name to Hiro

Hiro: srry it was getting annoying

Byakubitch: I can’t just change you when you get annoying. 

Hiro: rude

othernineteenpilots: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

othernineteenpilots: tokos good with polyamory were dating now

Hiro: wait what

Byakubitch: Thank God. 

Byakubitch: I was just about to file a restraining order

othernineteenpilots: ha jokes on u shes  
poly so she still likes u mate

othernineteenpilots: just bc shes dating me doesnt mean shit

big tiddy goth gf: i swear he doesn’t even know how to express this upset he’s just emptily looking at his phone

big tiddy goth gf: also, im not poly

othernineteenpilots: byakubitch? 

big tiddy goth gf: hes not talking but no hes not poly

Chi: What did I come back to

Hiro: wait so @othernineteenpilots is it u n toko or u n me and toko-

othernineteenpilots: im dating u and im dating toko but idk if u 2 r dating too

Hiro: oh ok

Chi: Wait so Leon and Toko are dating?

othernineteenpilots: ye

Chi: Congrats!

Chi: I need to ask out who I like snnsjdk

big tiddy goth gf: i can make that happen

Chi: Can u tho??

Chi locked Jail

Chi: U can’t add shit unless ur admin 

Chi: Hint hint 

Chi: Not u

big tiddy goth gf: ur no fun

Chi: That’s mean

Chi: Also my autofill was like “Congrats” so yk

Chi: I should just use my autofill to talk now

big tiddy goth gf: :0 imma do that too

Chi: Congrats 

big tiddy goth gf: and uh yeah 

Chi: Why is the best way to get a good bf the most difficult 

big tiddy goth gf: i dont even have a response for that thats just- 

Chi: How in fucks name did u ask out someone

Chi: BYAKUYA OF ALL PEOPLE

big tiddy goth gf: he asked me out to dinner-

Chi: Wait what

othernineteenpilots: i have to

othernineteenpilots unmuted NotAStalker

NotAStalker changed their name to Toko

Toko: lmao noobs I have two bfs

Chi: ur rlly mean u know that right

othernineteenpilots: im the odd one out now :(

Hiro: how

othernineteenpilots: *blinks* ur names r toko, hiro, chi, etc

othernineteenpilots changed their name to Leon

Leon: ok i need love too

Hiro: *gives u kisses*

Toko: *gives u hugs*

Leon: ty

Chi: I think I might change everyones so it’s a shortened version of their name

Chi: or their name 

big tiddy goth gf changed their name to Celes

Celes: ok this is good

Chi: Byakybitch ur staying like that

Byakubitch: No, I’m not. 

Byakubitch changed their name to Byakuya

Byakuya: Let me have this. 

Kyogurt: If you even try

Makoyogurt: Chi don’t you dare

Chi: Oh ok 

Chi: Taka- Mondo- u have cute matching names :)

Taka’s “bro”: Pls end my misery

Mondo’s “bro”: I don’t even understand what it means. 

Chi: *groans* Mondo’s “bro” is just being sarcastic

Chi: Like- you two call each other bro but are you actually bros??

Leon: we discussed this

Leon: theyre homo homies

Taka’s “bro”: Can you not

Mondo’s “bro”: Homo homies?

Toko: basically rlly close friends that are actually gay and dating

Mondo’s “bro”: Mondo, I don’t see why you have a problem?

Taka’s “bro”: *groans*

Taka’s “bro” changed their name to Mondo

Mondo: Pls Chi

Chi: U asked nicely

Mondo’s “bro” changed their name to Taka

Taka: Mondo did it first. 

Chi: Wait

Chi: Toko weren’t u dating Komaru??

Toko: no

Toko: syo is

Toko: I- like ME- is dating leon and hiro

Chi: Oh ok glad we covered that

Mondo: Wait what

Mondo: Leon u have TWO partners

Taka: Mondo, what are you saying?

Mondo: I kinda wanna turn this into a competition-

Leon: HA im winning 

Mondo: *looks around* 

Mondo: Who here said they were poly-

Idol Thot: I am-

Soldier Thot: ok ik i said im a monogamous lesbian but that was a lie

Soldier Thot: im actually bi and poly but i just prefer girls and prefer to be in a monogamous relationship

Taka: I think I’d prefer to be in a monogamous relationship too. 

Mondo: Oh okay that idea’s gone

Idol Thot: What idea-

Mondo: *thinks for a sec to come up with a rlly good name*

Mondo: MondoTakaMukuSaya-

Mondo: It’s the best I could think of in 5s shh

Taka: ...

Soldier Thot: pass

Idol Thot: Pass

Mondo: It was worth a try


	8. Adoptions-

Taka: Are you saying you’re interested in Sayaka and Mukuro?

Mondo: No I was just joking-

Taka: Why would you joke about it?

Chi: Why do I make sex jokes if I’m asexual?

Mondo: What

Chi: Exactly

Mondo: No rlly what 

Taka: Asexual?

Chi: How do you-

Chi: I don’t feel sexual attraction

Mondo: Oh ok

Mondo: How do u like ppl?

Chi: *groans* I experience ROMANTIC attraction-

Chi: But not SEXUAL attraction

Mondo: And?

Chi: I want to date ppl but I don’t wanna fuck them

Chi: MORE SPECIFICALLY 

Chi: I’m GAY so I want to DATE guys but I don’t want SEX

Taka: So you’re only interested in romance?

Chi: YES

Taka: Understandable. 

Taka: I’m going to change the topic. 

Mondo: Good

Taka: How is everybody’s Christmas

Chi: Good

Tetris: I’m just gaming

Chi: SIS

Tetris: CHI

Tetris changed their name to Chiaki

Chiaki: Tetris is cool but like

Chiaki: Not my fav

Chi: Oh ok that’s cool 

Chi: Where’s ur bf??

Hope: Hi

Hope changed their name to Nagito

Nagito: It’s Nagito

Chi: No shit

Mondo: Ok but u just called her sis??

Chi: Oh uh

Chi: We’re rlly good friends

Chi: So we call each other bro and sis

Mondo: Oh k 

Mondo: But we’re rlly good friends??

Chi: Yea but you’re more like a dad to me

Chi: Rather than a brother

Mondo: Yeah ok

Mondo: I’m ur dad now

Mondo: Wait

Mondo: @Taka we being Chi’s dads??

Taka: Ok

Chi: Ok so Taka and Mondo r my dads now

Princess: What’s this talk of Mondo and Kiyotaka being Chihiro’s dads?

Chi: Sjskskk we don’t mean it literally-

Chi: I just mean they’re rlly good friends and they kinda treat me like their child so yk

Princess: Oh yes I understand

Princess: Like how Gundham treats Himiko like his child?

Dark Lord: She is my child

Princess: She’s not even a year younger than you- she is not your child 

Dark Lord: She is my child

Princess: You see my point

Chi: Yeah-

Princess: How about you invite her to the chat?

Chi: Ok

Chi added 15 others to the chat

Chi changed the name of 15 others

Kokichi: GREAT 

Kokichi: ANOTHER CHAT I CAN RUIN

Taro: Pls don’t—

Miu: Who the fuck-

Kirumi: Please do not message between 1-4am

Kirumi: I need sleep

Miu: Bbg yk I’m the only thing that keeps u awake at night ;)

Kirumi: ಠ_ಠ

Toko: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chi: Finally using the emoji at an APPROPRIATE time

Shuichi: Why am I in this chat

Ryoma: Why am I in this existence

Kaito: Edgy 

Maki: FINALLY somebody didnt put my name as harumaki or maki roll

Kaito: Maki Roll ur so moody

Maki: (ง'̀-'́)ง

Kaede: Maki Roll ur so cute

Maki: (ᗒ—ᗕ)՞

Kaito: Why does Kaede get blushy emojis and I get threatened to get beaten up

Kaito: What happened to ME getting blushy emojis too-

Maki: I started not being romantically interested in you

Kaito: What-

Maki: We’ve gone over this too many times

Kaito: No we haven’t-

Maki: Do you want to die?

Soldier Thot changed their name to Mukuro

Mukuro: one, sorry i had to change it

Mukuro: two, you guys are here bc we were talking abt how mondo and taka treat chi like their child so we agreed that mondo and taka were to be chis dads so we added everyone from class 79 

Mukuro: three, maki u seem great im gonna be ur mum/sis and u dont have a choice

Maki: I do have a choice and I’m saying no

Mukuro: I’m a soldier

Mukuro: Literally

Maki: Ok hi Mum what’s up?

Maki: Are you my only mum or do I have two (or more) mums or do I have a dad too?

Mukuro: you have two mums

Mukuro: wait shit I kinda just adopted u without asking sayaka

Maki: Wait Sayaka-

Maki: Do you mean Sayaka Maizono-

Mukuro: yes- 

Maki: Omg we both are deadly girls with musical girlfriends

Mukuro: wait who r u dating

Maki: Kaede-

Kaede: Hi

Mukuro: you better not harm my fucking daughter you hear me?

Kaede: Yes madam

Mukuro: good

W...Womn changed their name to Peko

Peko: I am also a deadly girl with a musical girlfriend

Ibuki: HIIII

Mukuro: holy shit

Mukuro: WAIT SHIT

Mukuro: @Idol Thot (pls change ur name) can i adopt maki??

Idol Thot changed their name to Sayaka

Sayaka: Yes

Mukuro: FUCK YEAH

Mukuro: MAKI SAY HI TO UR MUM

Maki: HI MUM

Sayaka: Hi Maki

Peko: So Class 77 and 78 are “adopting” people from Class 79?

Chi: No Mondo and Taka got me

Peko: So we’re just adopting in general 

Chi: ye

Kirumi: Willing to be adopted

Kirumi: I need a break

Kirumi: I want to be a kid again

Peko: Taking?

Ibuki: IBUKI WILL TAKE KIRUMI

Peko: Hi Kirumi we’re your new mums

Miu: I WANT NEW PARENTS

The Real Baby Shark: WAIT MIU

Miu: Who tf r u 

The Real Baby Shark changed their name to Kaz

Kaz: ITS ME

Miu: HOL Y SH I T KAZ 

Miu: UR MY DAD IDC WHO MY OTHER PARENT IS

Hiko: When the fuck did I agree to this Kazuichi?

Miu: OH MY F UCKI NG GOD I LOVE HIM ALREADY

Kaz: PLS HIKO

Hiko: Only because I love you

Kaz: You love me-??

Hiko: I’m not doing this bullshit again

Chi: Wait ok SO  
Chi: I, Chihiro, am the son of Taka and Mondo

Chi: Maki is the child of Mukuro and Sayaka

Chi: Kirumi is Peko and Ibuki’s child

Chi: Miu is Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko’s child

Chi: And that’s who we got??

Kaito: But I want new parents-

Mondo: K AI TO

Kaito: O MF G MO N DO

Kaito: It’s decided

Mondo: Wait a fucking second

Mondo: @Taka Second son??

Taka: Sure

Mondo: O KA Y HI

Kaito: H I

Chi: Update; Kaito and I are brothers

Celes: byakuya do you want a child

Byakuya: Eat shit, I am not putting a demon inside you

Makoyogurt: BAHAHAHAHAH

Kyogurt: ROASTED WNDJSK

Celes: holy shit rude

Celes: i mean something else read the messages

Byakuya: No, I don’t 

Celes: oh ok

Celes: i’ll be a single parent then

Celes: anybody here that likes lying or gambling?

Kokichi: *nishishis* 

Celes: omfg kokichi

Celes: its decided

Byakuya: When did I agree to this?

Celes: u didnt

Celes: thats why im being a single mum

Byakuya: Nevermind, I’ll be the father

Byakuya: Kokichi, you better behave yourself

Byakuya: I am your father and you live by my rules now

Kokichi: As your child I get to break rules >:D

Celes: hes just like his mother-

Byakuya: Oh no

Chi: Update; Kokichi is Celestia’s and Byakuya’s son

Kokichi: Uhh

Kokichi: non-binary.flag_jpg

Kokichi: Child

Celes: oh my god we have a nonbinary child

Byakuya: Pronouns?

Kokichi: Anything nonfem

Celes: Ok smöll one

Chiaki: How many people here are cis? Just a question

Byakuya: I am

Celes: NO HA

Nagito: I am-

Chiaki: Nagito there you are

Chiaki: Do you want kids

Nagito: We’re only 18-

Chiaki: Read the chat

Nagito: Ok

Nagito: Oh yeah sure

Chiaki: Okayyyy

Nagito: Well, they have to like hope

Shuichi: Nobody in our class likes hope

Nagito: WHAT

Chiaki: But somebody loves games- right??

Shuichi: Not that I know-

Chiaki: TECH??

Shuichi: Kiibo’s a robot-

Chiaki: Ok they’re adopted

Shuichi: Wait

Kokichi: Is Kiibo even here??

Nagito: I WANT TO MEET MY CHILD

Chiaki: CHIHIRO

Chi: ...

Chiaki: WHERE IS MY CHILD

Chi: I GET NERVOUS AROUND HIM OK

Chiaki: Wait what

Mondo: WHATS HAPPENING

Chiaki: I THINK CHI HAS A CRUSH

Chi: SHUT UP

Mondo: WAIT WHO

Chiaki: I THINK ITS KIIBO FROM CLASS 79

Mondo: WAIT RLLY

Makoyogurt: H OL Y S HI T 

Mondo: WHAT

Makoyogurt: REMEMBER WHEN CHI WAS LIKE “YALL ARE MAKING ME SINGLE” AND BLAHBLAHBLAH I SAID KIIBO WAS SINGLE

Kyogurt: He listened to you-

Shuichi: Wait

Shuichi: Kyoko Kirigiri?

Kyogurt: ...Yes

Shuichi: Omfg I’m such a big fan

Kyogurt: Makoto I said I didn’t want kids but Shuichi, get adopted

Shuichi: I have parents now :D

Kaede: I don’t—

Maki: Well they can’t be Mukuro and/or Sayaka bc then that’s technically incest

Kaede: Holy shit it is

Kaede: Anybody wanna be my parents?

Chi: Shh ok so 

Chi: Mondo and Taka already have two kids plus u wouldn’t rlly get along with them so yk

Chi: I don’t think you’d get along much with Makoto or Kyoko

Shuichi: Makoto and Kyoko are my parents back off Kaede

Chi: ANYWAY

Chi: Byakuya doesn’t want kids and he’s already dealing with Kokichi so yk

Chi: HIRO TOKO AND LEON DON’T HAVE A CHILD

Kaede: ...anybody else?

Chi: What

Kaede: Aren’t their talents fortune telling, literature and baseball? Not interesting to me

Chi: Leon wants to be a musician tho

Chi: (He doesn’t like it when people bring up baseball- he hates it but it’s the only thing he’s good at)

Kaede: Oh ok

Kaede: @Hiro @Toko @Leon dad mum dad?

Hiro: hi child

Toko: you’ll do

Leon: WAIT U DO MUSIC

Kaede: ...yes

Leon: NWJDJWO COMING TO UR DORMS RN

Kaede: Holy shit ok

Chi: Update; Hiro Toko and Leon have adopted Kaede

Tenko: First of all- why am I here-

Chi: Adoption

Tenko: Oh ok

Tenko: Well I better have at least one mum in which case

Angie: HIII

Chiaki: Yk what

Chiaki: @Nagito Chihiro isn’t gonna add Kiibo anytime soon

Chiaki: Wanna just go to his dorm?

Nagito: Sure

Chi: NO GUYS

Chi: U CAN’T JUST SHOW UP TO HIS DORM AND SAY UR HIS PARENTS

Chiaki: Watch me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG THIS IS SO CHAOTIC


	9. I swear- Don’t

Chi: Okay well ANYWAY

Chi: Anybody ELSE

Tenko: I WANT PARENTS

Angie: SAAAME

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: WAIT ANGIE

Angie: OMG HINA

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: I ALREADY KNOW SAKURALL BE OK WITH IT

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: UR MY CHILD NOW

Hajime: It’s CHRISTMAS what’s up-

Mikan: What’s happening

Tenko: I WANT PARENTS

Hajime: First- mood

Hajime: Second- why does that have to be in this chat?

Chi: NOO she means

Chi: For fucks sake just read the chat above

Taka: I thought we agreed you’d stop swearing for Christmas

Chi: Yes sorry dad

Mondo: As your (other) dad I will let you swear

Chi: FUCK YEAH

Mondo: Not on Christmas

Chi: *sad yeehaws* 

Tenko: Hello??

Hajime: Sassy

Chi: Can I assign Hajime and Mikan Tenko??

Mikan: Sure

Tenko: YES PARENTS

Himiko: What’s happening?

Chi: Omfg just read above

Chi: GOING OVER IT AGAIN

Chi: Kaito and I have been adopted by Taka and Mondo

Chi: Maki to Sayaka and Mukuro

Chi: Kaede to Hiro Toko and Leon

Chi: Kokichi to Byakuya and Celestia (gl)

Chi: Shuichi to Makoto and Kyoko

Chi: Kiibo to Chiaki and Nagito

Chi: Kirumi to Peko and Ibuki

Chi: Miu to Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko

Chi: Angie to Sakura and Hina

Chi: Tenko to Hajime and Mikan

Chi: That’s it??

Taro: Hi again

Chi: Shit no not someone else

Taro: I want parents

Himiko: You forgot how I was Gundham and Sonia’s child

Chi: Oh yes sorry

Taro: Any other couples??

Chi: No lol sorry

Mahiru: There’s Sato and I-

Chi: What the fuck is even Sato’s first name??

(Authors note: Sato didn’t have a canon given name so I decided to name her :D) 

Mahiru: Hanako-

Chi: Let’s go

Chi added Hanako

Hanako: Hi-

Mahiru: You up for adopting??

Hanako: We’re 18-

Mahiru: No I mean “adopting”

Hanako: ??

Mahiru: Couples are “adopting” the other students 

Mahiru: Ppl from Class 77/78 have been asking ppl from Class 79 what their interests are and from there it’s like

Mahiru: “ur my child now- i will protect u” “ok”

Hanako: And there’s just one left??

Mahiru: Yes

Hanako: Let’s get em

Taro: Hi ig I’m your son

Tenko: WAIT NO HOW COME RANTARO GETS TWO MUMS

Tenko: HAJIME AND MIKAN CAN U TAKE RANTARO

Tenko: AND ILL BE WITH MAHIRU AND HANAKO

Taro: Is that ok with your parents??

Hajime: Mikan?

Mikan: Ex-parents

Chi: Oh great 

Chi: UPDATE

Chi: RANTARO GOES TO HAJIME AND MIKAN

Chi: TENKO GOES TO MAHIRU AND HANAKO

Hanako: Well that was fun

Chi: No it was fuckign not

Chi: I need a drink

Mondo: I SAID NO SWEARING ON CHRISTMAS

Chi: No it was not*

Chi: I still need a drink

Mondo: NO U WONT

Chi: Crap* I’m still 17 I can’t just get it myself

Mondo: YEAH

Chi: @Chiaki Go get me something

Mondo: NO

Chi: >:D

Mondo: NOO

Chiaki: But I’m talking to Kiibo

Mondo: GOOD STAY THERE

Mondo: Wait shit whered he go

Taka: I thought we agreed no swearing on Christmas

Mondo: Wait CRAP* whered he go

Taka: Where did who go?

Mondo: CHI

Tenko: Wait Chihiro’s a boy??

Mondo: Yes get with the program

Tenko: *slowly realises I’m not a lesbian*

Taro: WHATRE U SAYING

Taro: THERE ARE OTHER MEN IN UR LIFE??

Tenko: Other MEN-??

Mondo: *patiently watches this unfold*

Taro: WDYM WEVE BEEN DATING FOR A MONTH

Tenko: UR A GUY??

Taro: HOW THE FUCK DID U NOT KNOW THIS

Tenko: H OL Y S HI T 

Mondo: “I find out my girlfriend is actually a boy” trope

Taro: HSJSKA SHH

Taka: That doesn’t work. 

Taka: Plenty of transmasc people date girls and don’t realise they’re transmasc until they’re in the relationship. When they come out as transmasc it’s like “My girlfriend is a boy”.

Taka: It’s different if someone thinks their “girlfriend” (who is actually just a feminine boy) says they’re actually a boy during the relationship. 

Taka: Or like in animes with the “You’re a great girlfriend,” “I’m a boy?” dialogue. 

Mondo: Well shit thanks for that

Taro: ABOUT that-

Taro: *tells yall that im actually transmasc* hi

Tenko: I don’t mean to sound rude but why did u join the males??

Taro: Bc I prefer to be like this

Taro: Also that’s kinda transphobic just saying

Tenko: HOLYSHIT IM SOSORRY

Taro: It’s good just don’t do it again

Taro: And what did u mean with that comment “*slowly realises im not a lesbian*” 

Tenko: Oh I was just kidding

Tenko: Bc I think Chihiro is pretty cute

Tenko: I wouldn’t date them yk but they’re cute

Tenko: Also- Chihiro

Tenko: What pronouns would u like me to use??

Chi: Hi again I’m not reading shit BUT

Chi: He/they :D

Tenko: Well hello Chihiro I will use those pronouns

Mondo: Ok I’m gonna ask for everyones now 

Mondo: @Kaito bc ur my kid I deserve to know what pronouns u use

Kaito: He/they/it

Mondo: Ok glad we got that

Mondo: WAIT H OLY S H IT I HAVE TWO HE/THEY SONS

Mondo: SUCK SHIT MFS 

Mahiru: I don’t have any she/theys :(

Hanako: About that

Mahiru: SHIT YES I HAVE A SHE/THEY

Hanako: mywife is soft nd ilikeher

Mahiru: Wait

Mahiru: WAIT

Hanako: WAIT NO IM NOT PROPOSING

Mahiru: FUCK

Taka: IT’S STILL CHRISTMAS CAN EVERYBODY STOP SWEARING??

Mondo: Oh my god yall made him fucking angry

Taka: MONDO, YOU’RE NOT HELPING

Hiro: hey whats happening

Hiro: HOLYSHIT WHO MADE TAKA ANGRY

Mondo: NO STOP SWEARING

Taka: ALL I’M ASKING FOR IS ONE DAY - TODAY - CHRISTMAS - THAT NOBODY IS SWEARING AND NOBODY SEEMS TO BE DOING THAT.

Mondo: GUYS STOP

Taka: I’M NOT EVEN ASKING MUCH - JUST FOR YOU ALL TO REMOVE A FEW WORDS FROM YOUR VOCABULARY FOR TODAY. 

Mondo: OK TAKA WE GET IT IVE STOPPED

Hiro: sorry bro

Taka: Thank you for apologising. 

Taka: Now, who wants to go for Christmas lunch?


	10. So uh- How’s ur Spotify

Chi: OK IK ITS LIKE- 

Chi: VERY RANDOM B U T

Chi: WHO TOLD KIIBO TO HMU

Chiaki: *elder sister laughter*

Chi: NO FUCK

Chi: Mondo Taka u can’t tell me off bc it isn’t Christmas anymore

Mondo: Shit

Taka: I’d still prefer you didn’t swear

Chiaki: Wait shit

Chiaki: If Chihiro is my brother-

Chiaki: And Kiibo is my son-

Chi: NO

Chiaki: Then that’d technically be incest-

Chi: NOO

Korekiyo: And?

Chi: STFU

Korekiyo: No

Chiaki: Nvm ur not biologically related anyway

Chiaki: Nobody needs to know

Chi: Exactly

Chi: NOBODY needs to know

Chiaki: Anyway about Kiibo

Chiaki: How’s it going

Chi: SHIT I HAVENT REPLIED

Chiaki: GO REPLY

Chi: NO

Chiaki: AS UR SISTER IM TELLING U TO REPLY

Chi: U DONT HAVE THE AUTHORITY 

Mondo: AS UR DAD IM TELLING U TO REPLY

Chi: U CANT MAKE ME

Kaito: BIG BRO IS MAKING U TOO

Chi: STFU IM OLDER THAN U

Kaito: Wait holy shit u are

Taka: Chihiro, it’s rude to not respond

Chi: Ok that convinced me brb

Chiaki: Are we going to keep talking or will we just-

Chiaki: Wait for Chi to talk to Kiibo

Mondo: Ngl I wanna wait 

Miu: Wait what

Miu: Is Kiibo gonna get a fucking gf

Mondo: CHIS A BOY FOR FUCKS SAKE

Miu: Oh he is

Miu: Cool

Miu: Anyway

Miu: I did that “how bad is your Spotify” thing

Chiaki: And?

Miu: It doesn’t like how much I listen to wap

Chiaki: Oh god

Chiaki: How much do you listen to it

Miu: It’s my top song-

Chiaki: OH GOD

Miu: What abt y’all-

Mondo: Send the link

Miu: https://pudding.cool/2020/12/judge-my-spotify/

Miu: Here-

Chiaki: Well uh

Chiaki: Apparently my top songs are

Chiaki: Bubble Tea - dark cat, juu, Cinders

Chiaki: Video Games - The Young Professionals

Chiaki: Tetris Theme - Video Game Players

Chiaki: Memories - Within Temptation 

Chiaki: Gasoline - Halsey

Miu: Wow idk if that’s gamer vibes or just edgy

Chiaki: Both

Mondo: Uhh

Mondo: screenshot_jpg

Mondo: Don’t laugh

Miu: SWEATER WEATHER BAHAHAHA

Chiaki: WAIT WAIT WAIT

Chiaki: I KISSED A BOY BY JUPITHER

Mondo: I SAID DONT FUCKING LAUGH

Miu: IM LAUGHING BAHAHAH

Chiaki: WAIT WAIT WAIT

Chiaki: MAMMA MIA

Chiaki: THERES MAMMA MIA

Chiaki: I never pegged u for a musical guy huh

Miu: OMFG SHSHJSK BREAKING FREE

Chiaki: *inhales*

Mondo: NO

Chiaki: IM BREAKING FREE

Miu: WE’RE SOARING

Chiaki: fLYYYINNGGGGG

Miu: THERES NOT A STAR IN HEAVEN THAT WE CANT REAAACHH

Chiaki: IF WE’RE TRYIINNGG

Mondo: NO SHUT UP

Miu: Wait whats the last song

Chiaki: BAHHAHAHAA

Chiaki: IM NOT GAY BY J PEE

Miu: BAHAHAHHAHAHA

Mondo: SHUT UP I HAD A HARD TIME WITH MYSELF

Chiaki: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

Mondo: WHEN I WAS LIKE 12 OR 13 OK

Chiaki: Holy shit u mustve listened to it a lot if it’s still in your most played

Chi: Oh my god what the fuck happened

Chiaki: We’re looking at Mondo’s Spotify

Chiaki: This is funny shit

Chi: Wait lemme scroll up

Miu: Omfg thats hilarious

Chi: BAHHAHAHAAH THATS FUNNY ASF

Mondo: Miu show us yours

Miu: Do I have to

Mondo: I showed you mine

Miu: Oh fine

Miu: screenshot_jpg

Mondo: WAP HAHAHA

Chiaki: Is that-

Chiaki: Is that oh no

Chiaki: By Marina

Miu: What does it look like??

Mondo: I-

Mondo: Baby one more time

Mondo: Britney

Miu: What can I say

Miu: It’s Britney bitch

Chi: YOU DIDNT

Miu: I DID

Chi: SEXY NAUGHTY BITCHY ME BAHAHAHA

Chiaki: It’s inappropriately appropriate- 

Mondo: I-

Mondo: What the hell

Mondo: AVRIL

Miu: Ok enough laughing at me

Miu: Chihiro?

Chi: ...

Chi: Brb

Chiaki: WAIT NO WHAT HAPPENED WITH KIIBO

Chi: Uh he said that u told him to text me and see what happens

Chiaki: And???

Chi: I asked him if he wants to go get a coffee this weekend

Chiaki: O MF G

Chiaki: YOU DID IT

Chi: What-

Chiaki: YOU ASKED HIM OUT :D

Chi: ...Yes

Chi: screenshot_jpg

Chi: Here’s the Spotify

Chiaki: Dog days are over - Florence + the machine

Chiaki: Good song

Miu: Am I a girl by Poppy

Chi: Hey that song slaps

Miu: Ik

Chiaki: Oh god gay shit

Chi: Hey shh

Chiaki: First time he kissed a boy - Kadie Elder

Chiaki: R u ok

Chi: No

Miu: Boys will be bugs-

Chi: And?

Miu: Idk I’ve never heard it

Mondo: Still into you by Paramore?? 

Mondo: What is your music taste?? 

Chi: Says the guy who listens to songs abt “not being gay” and songs abt “being very gay” + musicals

Mondo: Hey

Chi: My point exactly 

Taro: I saw something abt boys will be bugs??

Chi: ...Yes

Taro: My transmasc self was summoned

Chi: We’re looking at each others Spotifys

Taro: Oh ok brb I’ll do it too

Taro: screenshot_jpg

Miu: Is that-

Miu: The bidding

Taro: No

Miu: It is

Miu: Don’t lie

Taro: Oh ok then

Taro: Yes that is the bidding

Chi: I-

Chi: *cries* boys will be bugs

Taro: ...yes

Miu: Pretty girl by Clairo-

Mondo: Wtf

Mondo: “J’ai Cherché” by Amir??

Mondo: This French??

Taro: ...yes

Chi: What’re the other songs-

Miu: OUTRUNNING KARMA

Taro: Hey shh

Chi: Ok ok ok

Chi: WHAT IN FUCKS NAME IS THIS

Chi: GUACAMOLE??

Chi: BY JAYO??

Chi: WHAT

Taro: Hey have u hears Guacamole by the Merrell Twins

Chi: No-

Taro: Best remix of WAP I’ve heard

Miu: WAIT

Miu: I BETTER NOT BE DISAPPOINTED 

Taro: You won’t 

Miu: Ok wtf this is beautiful 

Mondo: What in fucks name

Chi: Wait where’d Chiaki go

Chiaki: Hi

Chi: Oh good there she is

Chiaki: What’s up

Chi: I got scared

Chiaki: I was just with Nagito

Chi: WAIT

Chi: I WANNA SEE HIS SPOTIFY

Nagito: You what

Chiaki: SHSKSK LEMME SEE

Nagito: Ok

Nagito: screenshot_jpg

Mondo: I-

Miu: Crazy = genius

Miu: Tbh mood

Taro: Burning pile by mother mother-

Taro: Why isn’t that in MY top songs

Chi: Why is cancer by mcr in there-

Nagito: Bc I have cancer

Chiaki: Wait what

Nagito: You heard me

Mondo: Thats kinda- sad ngl

Taro: More mother mother

Taro: Wrecking ball is pre good ngl

Chiaki: I-

Chiaki: The song I played for you-

Nagito: ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Chi: Rlly guys

Mondo: Oh god this song is so old

Chiaki: It’s from 2000-

Mondo: ITS FROM 1959

Chiaki: Oh shit

Miu: WHATS THE SONG

Chiaki: Put your head on my shoulder

Chiaki: Paul Anka

Miu: Y’all r-

Chi: They’re what??

Miu: Rlly

Chi: I’m her brother I’m allowed to do this

Miu: Wait rlly

Chiaki: Yes

Chi: No we’re half siblings

Miu: Oh cool

Taro: Miu; *learns something abt Chi*

Taro: Miu; Oh cool

Miu: Shjsks shut

Mondo: Wait does this mean that Chiaki is also my child

Chiaki: If u want

Mondo: Ok I’m coming over to game w u

Chiaki: YES

Nagito: But we’re gaming ;-;

Chiaki: We’ve been gaming all day

Nagito: Fair enough

Taro: Just Miu Chi and I now?

Chi: U all wanna just go to Chiaki’s room and game?

Miu: Yeah sounds nice

Chiaki: *puts on shades and does the bisexual finger guns* nise

Chi: Actually please stop

Chiaki: *sad yeehaws* oh ok

Chi: Good

Chi: See y’all in a minute


	11. Karaoke Night?

Taro: Chi

Taro: I hate to ask

Taro: But 

Chi: Hurry up

Taro: OK

Taro: Have u added Kiibo yet?

Chi: No

Taro: Pls do it

Chi: *groans* Ok-

Chi added Kiibo

Kiibo: ...Hi

Taro: Chi u better speak

Chi: No

Kiibo: Hi Chihiro :D

Chi: ...

Taro: Chi he doesn’t deserve silent treatment 

Chi: ...

Taro: I don’t either

Chi: ...

Chi: Yes you do

Taro: Oh

Taro: Ok then

Chiaki: What is this I see

Chiaki: What’s this??

Kiibo: I think Chihiro might be ignoring me

Chiaki: WHAT

Chiaki: CHIHIRO IS THIS TRUE

Chi: Why 

Chiaki: Bc I’m your sister

Chiaki: And I want to know

Chi: Fine I’m just nervous

Chiaki: Chi

Chiaki: Talk to him

Chi: Ok

Chi: Hi Kiibo

Kiibo: Hi

Chi: What’s up

Kiibo: The sky

Chi: Fair enough

Taro: How about I make this more interesting

Taro: What’s your fav drink

Chi: Iced Coffee

Kiibo: ...

Kiibo: I’m a robot 

Kiibo: I can’t drink 

Chi: Wait why’d u agree to go get coffee with me this wknd then

Kiibo: Because it’s rude to say no

Chi: Kiibo if u can’t physically have a coffee you can say no

Kiibo: But I didn’t want to be rude

Chi: We can do something else

Kiibo: Okay

Kiibo: Nothing involving water or food/drinks then

Chi: Oh ok what else would u do on a date then

Kiibo: A date-?

Chi: That’s what this is-?

Chi: Guys I can feel you watching ur making me uncomfortable 

Toko: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chi: NO

Leon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chi: N000000

Hiro: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chi: NO STOP PLEASE

Kiibo: How about we watch a movie?

Chi: There’s nothing good in cinemas rn ;-;

Kiibo: Oh yeah

Kiibo: How about Karaoke?

Chi: Yeah that sounds nice :D

Chi: Just us or u wanna invite the group?

Kiibo: The “group”?

Mondo: The group’s coming

Chiaki: As your older sister I am coming

Miu: Yeah I wanna see Mondo sing sweater weather

Chiaki: I wanna see him sing Mamma Mia-

Mondo: HEY

Chi: Group’s going

Chi: I wanna see TAKA sing

Taka: What’s this about me singing?

Leon: i saw him sing one-

Taka: We do not talk about that

Leon: oh yes we do

Leon: nah im jk 

Leon: if u expose smth abt me then ill have to expose u im srry

Chi: U recorded it?

Leon: ye

Chi: Yk I can hack u

Leon: DONT

Chi: It’s ok Ik Taka doesn’t want me to see it

Taka: Thank you, Chihiro

Chi: Yw

Taka: Now what’s this about karaoke?

Chi: Kiibo and I are doing karaoke as a date this weekend (Saturday night??) and everyone wants to tag along

Taka: If it’s a date then I would expect the others leave you to it

Chi: Exactly

Chi: Ty

Chiaki: But I wanna tag along

Kiibo: I don’t mind if the others tag along!

Chi: *groans* Chiaki and Nagito can come

Chi: It’ll be a double date

Mondo: But-

Chi: YOU CAN COME ALONG NEXT TIME OK

Mondo: Oh ok :(

Taka: Mondo, leave him alone

Mondo: Ok

Chi: Now I feel bad

Chi: Yk what

Chi: Fuck it

Chi: We’re all going

Taka: “We”

Chi: Actually

Chi: Ok Mondo and Taro asked first so that’s already eight (Kiibo Nagito Chiaki Mondo Taka Taro Tenko and I)

Leon: what abt me :/

Chi: Ok so if we add Leon Toko and Hiro that’s 11

Chi: That everyone? 

Leon: just saying

Leon: sayaka would love this

Chi: Fuck

Chi: @Sayaka @Mukuro U guys wanna come?

Mukuro: Where

Chi: Karaoke night

Sayaka: FUCK YES

Mukuro: Oh god

Chi: Yes or no

Mukuro: If Sayaka wants to then yes

Mukuro: WAIT OUR CHILD

Mukuro: @Maki U WANNA COME

Maki: Where

Mukuro: KARAOKE

Maki: If Kaede goes

Hiro: leon toko i cannot believe you forgot our daughter 

Toko: u forgot her too

Hiro: shit yeah

Maki: @Kaede Karaoke?

Kaede: Y e s 

Chi: Wait so thats 15 people now-

Kaede: We should invite the other musical girl x deadly girl couple

Kaede: @Peko @Ibuki Karaoke?

Chi: NO WEVE GOT 15 

Chi: 15 IS ENOUGH

Ibuki: IBUKI WANTS TO KARAOKE

Peko: I’ll go too

Chi: NO MORE OK

Peko: Would you like to invite Fuyuhiko?

Ibuki: WAIT WE SHOULD BRING OUR CHILD TOO

Ibuki: @Kirumi WANNA COME

Kirumi: It would be rude of me to say no

Chi: NO NO GUYS STOP

Fuyuhiko: I’m only going if Kaz is

Kaz: I will

Kaz: If Miu is

Kirumi: As Miu is my girlfriend I would love to bring her along

Chi: OK NO MORE

Chi: WHOEVER INVITES SOMEONE NEW IS TO DIE

Chi: WEVE GOT 21 OK

Hiro: haha 21 

Leon: WHAT 9 + 10??

Hiro: 21

Toko: u idiot 9 + 10 is obviously 19 NOT 21

Chi: WAIT

Chi: @Kiibo ITS THE HOLIDAYS

Chiaki: Hey why don’t you do it for tomorrow night-

Chi: Why-?

Chiaki: Bc it’s new years tomorrow night

Chi: Chiaki don’t u dare

Chiaki: Oh I dare

Kiibo: What’s so special about new years?

Chiaki: Oh just the midnight kiss

Chi: N0

Kiibo: What

Chiaki: Its like- tradition

Chiaki: And you kiss just before midnight and kiss into the new year

Kiibo: What does this have to do with me

Chiaki: Omg he’s so oblivious

Chiaki: You and Chihiro are supposed to kiss obviously 

Kiibo: WHAT

Chiaki: Don’t tell me you didn’t expect that

Kiibo: ...

Chiaki: Also I am very sorry but I am going to invite @Hajime and @Mikan bc Hajime Nagito and I are like a trio and if I only invite Hajime then I would’ve literally thirdwheeled him

Hajime: What’s this

Mikan: They’re doing a karaoke night 

Hajime: Cool when

Chiaki: Tomorrow night

Chiaki: For new years

Chi: Yes and Chiaki doesn’t care that there are now 23 people going

Chiaki: The more the merrier

Hajime: Sounds nice

Chiaki: *puts on shades and does bisexual finger guns* nise

Chi: Oh god please stop

Kiibo: I’ll see you all tomorrow :)

Chiaki: Uh- no I’m coming over I’mma teach you how to play Tetris

Kiibo: Oh okay :D

Kiibo: Is Nagito coming too?

Nagito: Yes

Kiibo: I’ll see you both in a minute

Chi: Mondo n Taka wanna game too

Mondo: Yeah just a sec

Mondo: @Kaito family bonding? 

Kaito: Fuck yeah

Taka: Please refrain from swearing

Kaito: ...Yes dad

Taro: Yk whaf

Taro: Everyone can go to their respective families and family bond

Hajime: Going to yours?

Taro: Yep cya in a minute


	12. “...In my defence-“

Chi: Ok ik it’s only been a few hours but like-

Chi: What was everybody else’s Spotify

Leon: screenshot_jpg

Leon: no teasing guys

Mondo: There not even anything bad here

Mondo: Rockstar by Nickelback

Chi: I-

Chi: Use somebody

Chi: KINGS OF LEON

Leon: HEY

Chi: Yeah ok next song

Mondo: BAHAHAA SK8ER BOI

Sayaka: What

Sayaka: Oh

Sayaka: *inhales*

Sayaka: hE WAS A SKATER BOY SHE SAI-

Leon: SHJSKS THAT WAS ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO CAN U FORGET PLS

Chi: Wait what

Chi: Forget WHAT

Sayaka: THE TIME LEON HAD A CRUSH ON ME BAHAHAHA

Leon: U CANT EVEN BLAME ME HAVE U SEEN URSELF

Sayaka: THAT DOESNT MEAN U HAVE TO HAVE A CRUSH ON ME-

Leon: IM SURE EVERYONE DID WHEN WE FIRST STARTED SCHOOL TOGETHER

Leon: I MEAN

Leon: MAKOTO DID

Makoyogurt: Do not bring me into this

Leon: t o o l a t e 

Sayaka: We also went to middle school for several years so why wouldn’t he

Makoyogurt: Yeah what she said

Leon: Fair enough

Leon: But Mondo didn’t know you from middle school

Mondo: HEY

Mondo: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY SECRET

Mondo: UNSEND IT

Sayaka: NO MONDO NOT U TOO

Mondo: U REMINDED ME OF HATSUNE MIKU HOW COULD I NOT

Sayaka: Wait what

Mondo: NO NO NO SHIT

Mondo: IM NOT A HASTUNE MIKU FANBOY YOU ARE 

Sayaka: I’m a Hatsune Miku fanGIRL-

Leon: BAHAHAHHAHAHA

Leon: HATSUNE MIKU FANBOY HATSUNE MIKU FANBOY HATSUNE MIKU FANBOY

Mondo: SHUT UP

Leon: ik u can hurt me so ill stop

Leon: in my defence ive had a crush on basically everyone in our class so dont feel singled out sayaka

Sayaka: Wait

Sayaka: You told

Sayaka: So I’m going to ask

Sayaka: Even Taka??

Leon: ...

Leon: in my defence

Leon: theres nothing hotter than a guy that absolutely verbally abuses the shit out of u but also checks up on u if u do smth stupid asf

Taka: What

Chi: ...What about me

Leon: in my defence i thought u were a chick so yk

Chi: ...That’s it?

Leon: and ur cute

Chi: ...That’s it?

Leon: pretty much

Chi: Yeah ok

Mondo: What abt me-

Leon: no

Leon: u got friendzoned a long time ago

Mondo: Good

Sayaka: WAIT

Sayaka: BYAKUYA??

Leon: holy shit

Leon: uh

Leon: F UC K I CANT LEAVE

Mondo: WAIT WHAT

Chi: HOLY SHIT

Leon: HES HOT OK

Leon: plus id kinda let him step on me

Byakuya: What in fucks name am I reading

Chi: DID JUNKO GET INTO BYAKUYAS PHONE WHY IS HE SWEARING

Byakuya: What no

Byakuya: You fucking retard 

Chi: Oh god hes upset

Chi: Leon if u want Byakuya to step on u I think now’s a good time

Leon: fuck yeah

Byakuya: If you make one move I will end your bloodline

Leon: *sits back down*

Sayaka: WAIT WAIT WAIT

Sayaka: WHAT ABT CELESTIA

Leon: i mean

Leon: chi didnt nickname her big tiddy goth gf for no reason

Chi: Damn right

Byakuya: If I hear that any one of you fools make a move on my girlfriend I will NOT hesitate to kill you 

Sayaka: ...Mukuro?

Byakuya: No it’s Byakuya

Sayaka: No I mean-

Sayaka: Leon did you ever like Mukuro

Leon: ...

Leon: IN MY DEFENCE

Leon: SHE COULD LITERALLY KILL ME

Sayaka: AND THAT’S A GOOD THING??

Leon: ...shes dangerous

Mondo: What about Junko

Leon: NO

Leon: GOD NO

Chi: ...Hifumi?

Leon: no

Sayaka: Makoto

Makoyogurt: You summoned me?

Leon: do i have to answer

Sayaka: I’ll take that as a yes

Makoyogurt: Wait what holy shit

Makoyogurt: What about Kyoko-

Leon: uh

Leon: a bit?

Leon: like just a bit

Chi: This shouldn’t be this funny to me

Mondo: Sakura?

Leon: a bit

Sayaka: Hina?

Leon: a bit

Makoyogurt: Toko?

Leon: bruh

Leon: nO weRe dAtiNg as bEsT fRiEndS

Makoyogurt: But you’re dating Hiro-

Leon: ever heard of polyamory bitch

Makoyogurt: Oh yeah ok cool

Sayaka: Did you ever like anybody in Class 77?

Leon: uhh

Leon: ill say em quickly

Leon: ibuki kazuichi mahiru

Sayaka: Oh okay cool

Leon: now let’s stop talking about past crushes and just finish looking at my spotify

Mondo: Oh yeah lol

Mondo: Can u send the screenshot again

Leon: screenshot_jpg

Chi: Ok so 

Chi: Rockstar - Nickelback

Chi: Use somebody - kings of Leon

Chi: Sk8er boi - Avril

Makoyogurt: Wait is that

Chi: Yes it is

Chi: Adam Lambert

Makoyogurt: More specifically

Makoyogurt: Whataya want from me

Mondo: Oh no

Mondo: The way he looks on the album cover is a total mood tho

Leon: be quiet hatsune miku fanboy

Mondo: *cries*

Chi: Mondo u spoke too soon when u said “there isn’t anything bad here” 

Sayaka: Is that-

Sayaka: H i g h s c h o o l m u s i c a l 

Chi: Yeah Mondo listens to hsm we already established this

Makoyogurt: WAIT WHAT

Leon: ...

Chi: Wait what song was it

Makoyogurt: I don’t dance

Mondo: Hajskaksb mood

Sayaka: Omg

Sayaka: We should like

Sayaka: Start a band together B)

Leon: we should call it leon + idol thot

Sayaka: B:|

Sayaka: Leon + Idol Thot it is

Sayaka: Our band will be famous

Sayaka: It will be a mix of pop and punk

Chi: POP PUNK BAND CALLED LEON + IDOL THOT

Mondo: ABHSJAAKS

Leon: aight sayaka im heading over to ur room w my guitar that ur gf bought me

Leon: again tysm

Chi: Aight I might see if Makoto wants to game

Makoyogurt: Yeah sure

Mondo: Then I’ll just stay here by myself...

Mondo: Jk I’ll be in Taka’s room if anybody needs me

Mondo: Wait a minute

Mondo: MAKOTO

Makoto: ...yes

Mondo: U SAW ALL OUR SPOTIFYS

Mondo: WE SHOULD GET TO SEE YOURS

Makoto: I didn’t see yours

Mondo: *shrugs*

Mondo: Sweater weather, I kissed a boy, Mamma Mia, breaking free, I’m not gay

Makoto: I-

Makoto: screenshot_jpg

Chi: How to save a life

Chi: The fray

Makoto: Hey it’s good

Chi: Ik

Mondo: Line without a hook-

Kyogurt: What’s happening

Chi: We’re looking at Makoto’s Spotify

Mondo: TEENAGE DIRTBAG

Chi: VERBATIM

Makoyogurt: Hey

Chi: Finally-

Kyogurt: Tongue tied

Chi: U stole my line

Kyogurt: *shrugs*

Mondo: Ngl that’s the kinda thing you’d find in a sappy teen romance

Mondo: Bar verbatim wtf

Makoyogurt: Yo

Makoyogurt: Kyoko I’m going to ur room

Makoyogurt: Chi Mondo have fun being alone lol

Chi: Wait

Chi: Makoto I was gonna game w u

Makoyogurt: *shrugs* I’m going to Kyoko

Makoyogurt: Bye

Chi: Oh ok

Chi: Well I’m gonna just *disappears*

Mondo: Lol bye


	13. Karaokeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its only 4:48pm here but *shrugs* here u go

Chi: FUCK

Chiaki: WHAT

Chi: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR

Chiaki: IDK WHATEVER UR COMFY WITH

Chi: BUT SHOULD I WEAR A DRESS OR A SHIRT AND JEANS

Chiaki: WHATEVER

Mondo: DO THE SHIRT AND JEANS

Chi: OK

Chi: WHAT COLOUR JEANS

Mondo: WHAT COLOURS U GOT

Chi: LIGHT BLUE DARK BLUE AND BLACK

Mondo: U GOT BROWN

Chi: LEMME CHECK

Chi: YEA

Mondo: OK WEAR THOSE

Chi: NOW WHAT SHIRT

Mondo: BUTTON UP OR CASUAL

Chi: IDK

Mondo: WHAT COLOUR BUTTON UPS

Chi: UHH

Chi: WHITE AND OLIVE GREEN

Chiaki: WAIT

Chiaki: DO U HAVE ANY SWEATERS 

Chi: OH YEAH

Chi: OLIVE GREEN 

Chiaki: WEAR THE WHITE BUTTON UP SHIRT WITH THE OLIVE GREEN SWEATER OVER THE TOP

Chi: YES

Chi: WHAT SHOES

Mondo: WAIT DO U HAVE A BROWN SWEATER AND OLIVE GREEN JEANS

Chi: OH YEAH

Chi: YES

Mondo: OK DO U HAVE BROWN SHOES

Mondo: SAME COLOUR AS UR SWEATER

Chi: YES TYSM

Chi: TY CHIAKI AND MONDO

Mondo: YW

Chiaki: NOW FINISH GETTING READY AND ILL SEE U AT 6

Chi: YEAH OK

Chi: CYA THEN

Mondo: Speaking of clothes what am I gonna wear

Chiaki: Ur usual?

Mondo: Yeah ig

Mondo: Yeah

Chiaki: U seem sad

Mondo: I’ll wear the black jeans but like-

Mondo: Sknsks should I wear a button up shirt

Chiaki: Omg come to my room RIGHT NOW

Chiaki: Wait no

Chiaki: Your clothes are in your room

Chiaki: Be right there

Mondo: ...Okay

Leon: speaking of clothes

Leon: taka i will kill u if u wear ur uniform

Taka: What else would I wear?

Leon: literally anything else??

Taka: Why don’t you help me with my clothing?

Leon: idk if that was a genuine question or if that was sarcasm

Hiro: we all know taka isnt capable of sarcasm

Leon: shdjsk dont move ill be RIGHT THERE

Hiro: what am i gonna wear

Leon: figure it out dumbass

Leon: SHDJJSS TAKA WHEN I SAY DONT MOVE I DONT MEAN THAT LITERALLY

Hiro: WHAT

Leon: THIS BITCH AINT MOVING

Taka: I was following instructions

Leon: HAJDJSK

Taka: Get off of your phone and talk to me face to face

Taka: You said you were going to help

Leon: yeah yeah ok

Chi: HI OK IM BACK

Chi: Where’d everyone go

Hiro: uh 

Hiro: idk 

Mondo: IM BACK

Mondo: What’s happening

Chi: idk

Chi: I finished getting ready tho

Mondo: Good

Mondo: Me too

Chi: We gonna talk again

Mondo: Sure

Hiro: uhh 

Chi: W h a t 

Hiro: leon may or may not be choosing takas clothes

Mondo: Oh fuck

Mondo: No no no no

Chi: I kinda wanna see-

Mondo: I want to but I am also very scared to

Chiaki: OK IM READY

Miu: When’s this happening

Chi: 7

Chi: We go out at 7 yeah?

Mondo: I thought u said 6

Chi: 6:30

Chi: Make it 6:30

Leon: ok hes ready now

Hiro: that was fast

Leon: thats what she said

Mondo: BAHHAHAH

Hiro: but no rlly

Hiro: how in fucks name did u get him ready that quickly

Hiro: AND GET HIM TO AGREE

Leon: what can i say

Leon: im LEON

Hiro: fair enough

Mondo: ...What is he wearing

Leon: ull see ;)

Chi: Uhhh

Chi: W h a t 

Leon: nah hes got mid blue jeans and a white button up shirt under a sweater

Leon: the sweaters like a diamond print that goes black grey black grey on every second line then white on the other lines

Leon: and the sleeves are black

Mondo: ...

Leon: idk the nerdy style but i tried my best

Hiro: imagine if taka had glasses-

Chi: I don’t think it’d suit him

Mondo: Idk maybe

Byakuya: Want me to see?

Mondo: If u dare try touching my bf I WILL kill u

Byakuya: Okay then

Byakuya: Why is Leon fashioning Taka an outfit?

Mondo: ...

Chi: DONT TELL HIM GUYS

Hiro: We’re doing karaoke tonight

Byakuya: I don’t want to go

Chi: Ok well don’t tell Celes or Kokichi

Chi: Bc one will tell the other and then Kokichi will invite Himiko-

Chi: Then Himiko will invite Sonia and Gundham

Chi: And we’ll have 27 ppl instead of 21

Hiro: ...

Chi: 21 is too much

Hiro: haha 21

Leon: ANYWAY

Leon: we’ve got enough ppl

Mondo: Yeah

Chi: Yeah

Chi: And this was supposed to be a date don’t forget

Taro: Ok I don’t mean to sound like a pain

Taro: BUT

Taro: I might invite Tenko bc otherwise I’ll be the only single person there

Taro: Is that ok?

Chi: Yeah sure

Chi: Thx for asking

Taro: Ok @Tenko

Taro: We got a karaoke night tonight

Taro: 6:30

Taro: Wanna come

Tenko: Yes sure

Chi: Ok so see y’all at 6:30?

Mondo: Oh yeah uh

Mondo: Where is it

Chi: ...The karaoke club...? 

Mondo: Oh yeah ok

Mondo: Cya there then

Chi: Bye

Mondo: Bye


	14. God the musicals-

Leon: well

Leon: that was an interesting night

Toko: HAPPY NEW YEARS FUCKERS 

Miu: HEY THATS MY LINE

Toko: ha lol i got it first B)

Miu: B:|

Leon: i don’t remember shit

Chi: How much alcohol did you have-

Leon: idk

Taka: I would hope you weren’t having alcohol - you’re underage

Miu: Shut up as long as we have permission from our guardian we’re fine

Taka: I’m not sure about that

Taka: Oh, no, you’re right

Miu: B)

Taro: Did Miu- did Miu just be smarter than Taka 

Leon: yeah whatever stfu i’m 18 in two days

Taka: You’re still underage 

Mondo: Wait what

Mondo: HOLY SHIT YOU ARE

Leon: yeah im older than all of u

Hiro: not me tho lol

Taro: Hiro ur older than everyone

Hiro: :(

Leon: stfu we know ur 21

Hiro: haha 21 

Toko: wait

Toko: does that mean

Toko: if hiro is dating us

Toko: does that mean hes a pedo

Leon: omfg

Taka: Technically, yes

Hiro: no-

Taro: Yes

Hiro: leons 18 in two days and toko ur bday is-

Toko: two months and two days

Hiro: see 

Hiro: ur only JUST minors

Taka: You’re still minors

Leon: yeah the police dont need to know 

Hiro: exactly 

Chiaki: HAAAAAAAA

Nagito: PPPPYYYUYY

Chiaki: BIIIRRTTHHHH

Nagito: DAAAAYYY

Chiaki: TOOOOOO

Nagito: HAJIMEEEE

Hajime: Ty guys

Hiko: Wait tf

Kaz: Hbdy Hajime ^^!!

Hiko: Hbdy ig

Hajime: Ty guys

Mikan: HBDY HAJIME ILY

Taro: Hbday dad!! 

Hajime: Honestly who does remember last night

Leon: a lil bit

Hiro: yes

Toko: n o 

Mukuro: idk but somebody dyed streaks of my hair bright pink 

Sayaka: ...I have a Hatsune Miku hair cut and colouring 

Sayaka: HOL UP IM MISSING $200

Miu: I didn’t steal it btw 

Leon: if u ask me i think that was spent at the hairdresser

Hiro: same-

Toko: who spends $200 at the hairdresser-

Taro: ...

Taro: Not me 

Mukuro: ...

Mukuro: chihiro

Chi: Hey I’m not the one who let you have alcohol

Chi: You did this to yourself 

Mukuro: ...

Mukuro: i wouldn’t have gone if u didn’t invite me

Chi: ACTUALLY 

Chi: Well technically I did invite u but that’s bc Leon told me to 

Leon: hey dont blame me

Mukuro: ACTUALLY

Mukuro: HIRO BROUGHT THE ALCOHOL

Hiro: *sits quietly*

Hiro: ...you drank it

Mukuro: o_O

Sayaka: Mumu you were the one who drank the alcohol

Sayaka: Stop blaming the others

Chi: Yeah Mumu its not our fault

Mukuro: dont fuckign call me mumu 

Chi: Okay Mukuroni

Mukuro: ...

Mukuro: i give up

Leon: w a i t 

Leon: where is junk

Leon: its been too long since i heard her

I have more personality than all of you changed their name to Junko

Junko: Hey again bitches

Junko: I didn’t do anything illegal this time

Sayaka: ...

Chi: ...I don’t believe you

Leon: nor do i

Junko: No I swear

Mukuro: No I bailed her out of juvie the other week

Mukuro: Next time she goes to jail she’ll be with the adults 

Junko: Yep don’t tell the police 

Leon: wait no

Leon: u cant be older than me

Mukuro: HA WELL I AM

Junko: HA WE’RE OLDER THAN U 

Leon: NOOOO

Mondo: Wait

Mondo: Chi

Mondo: How was it

Chi: Excellent

Kiibo: It was great :D !!

Kiibo: Especially midnight

Mondo: WAIT

Mondo: HO L Y F UC K

Taka: Please refrain from swearing

Taka: Wait

Taka: Did they-?

Mondo: They did

Chi: Kiibo this was supposed to say secret 

Kiibo: I’m sorry

Chiaki: WAIT

Mondo: I THINK 

Mondo: THAT CHI

Chiaki: HAS AN OFFICIAL BF??

Mondo: YEAH

Chi: GUYS SHUT

Chi: SHUT UP

Kiibo: So we’re boyfriends?

Mondo: Homo homies B)

Leon: B:|

Leon: thats my term

Chi: B:|

Chi: Did you just call Kiibo and I homo homies

Kiibo: Homo homies? 

Mondo: Yeah it doesn’t sound right for those two

Mondo: Taka and I are the original homo homies

Kaito: Can I join the homo homies squad

Shuichi: ...

Chi: H OL Y F U CK I DID ADD SHUICHI

Kiibo: Hi Shuichi :D !!

Shuichi: No Kaito I am not joining the homo homies 

Kaito: :(

Shuichi: Why should I join it now if I joined it ages ago?

Kaito: SDJKDGK

Chi: Makoto Kyoko and Shuichi are kinda dead to this chat

Kiibo: Dead?

Makoyogurt: Hey

Kyogurt: Wait

Kyogurt: Son you should join the yogurts 

Shuichi changed their name to Shuyogurt

Shuyogurt: I tried

Chi: I am going to cry

Hajime: I’m kinda dead here too

Mikan: I don’t think we’re funny enough

Taro: No I am

Taro: You guys aren’t

Dark Lord: I have a question

Chi: Oh god we have so many families joining us today

Dark Lord: What the heck is a gender

Himiko: Idk

Himiko: I’m constantly caught

Himiko: I’m like “gender is stupid” and a trans person is like “I like gender” and I go “that’s valid!!”

Chi: ...

Princess: ...Denounce gender roles but respect gender identity?

Himiko: OMG

Himiko: YES

Chi: ...

Chi: Denounce gender roles but respect gender identity

Himiko: Also Gundham

Himiko: R u my dad or my parent?

Dark Lord: Either

Dark Lord: I’d prefer parent but dad is also fine

Taro: Y’all wanna talk abt how stupid homophobia is?? 

Taro: Like- being straight is fine but like

Taro: If ur homophobic- thats bad

Tenko: ^^

Chi: ^^

Taro: Like- others’ s/o doesn’t affect you

Chi: ^^

Taro: AND GENDER

Taro: I DONT MEAN TO GET ALL POLITICAL AND AGGRESSIVE BUT LIKE

Taro: OTHERS GENDER DOESNT AFFECT U EITHER

Taro: except on a level if ur only into girls and ur love interest is a closeted trans guy or enby 

Taro: or if ur only into guys and ur love interest is a closeted trans girl or enby 

Taro: then it does affect u a bit but just move on like u would if ur crush was cis lol

Chi: ^^

Mondo: @ 7th grade me

Mondo: WHY COULDN’T 7TH GRADE ME JUST ACCEPT SHIT

Taka: So you were more accepting in the 8th grade?

Mondo: ... by 8th grade I’d figured it out and accepted it

Taka: You accepted yourself at 8th grade-?

Mondo: ...When did you accept yourself

Hiro: whats happening

Chi: Shh they’re talking

Taka: About a month before we started dating

Mondo: H OL Y SH IT 

Mondo: THAT WAS LIKE A YEAR AGO

Leon: BSJWKAL DO YALL REMEMBER HOW U GOT TOGETHER

Chi: YEAH ABDJSK

Mondo: Oh god no-

Taka: ...

Leon: IT WAS AT THAT XMAS PARTY AND WHDJWKSJ

Chi: YEAH U TWO WERE TALKING AND LEON WENT “HIRO GET THE FUCKIGN LADDER” 

Hiro: oh god i remember this

Leon: THEN HIRO BROUGHT THE LADDER AND CHI CLIMBED ONTO THE ROOF WITH SOME MISTLETOE ON A FISHING LINE

Chi: YEAH AND I DANGLED IT OVER YOUR HEADS BAHAHAHAHA

Mondo: W A I T 

Mondo: THAT WAS YOU

Chi: Yeah-

Mondo: I don’t know if I want to hit you or hug you

Chi: Pls hug me

Mondo: Ok

Leon: omg imagine if we didnt do that-

Hiro: Bet they would still be awkwardly talking NOW

Himiko: I want to try my magic and enchant mistletoe

Himiko: Then I could make it follow people everywhere

Himiko: Or randomly appear when two people are standing together

Kokichi: Better make it appear when we’re standing next to each other ;)

Himiko: 0-0

Mondo: I-

Leon: anyway

Leon: it was funny as shit

Chi: Bruh

Chi: Fuck yeah

Leon: i have an idea

Leon: why don’t we discuss how we all got together with our partner/s

Chi: Y’all know-

Mondo: Y’all know-

Leon: tbh thisll sound boring but uh

Leon: it was that truth or dare night

Chi: Oh no

Leon: remember spin the bottle

Mondo: OH NO

Leon: yeah 

Leon: boring amirite

Hiro: then u said smth abt a baseball game after that so ofc i had to go watch the game

Leon: shdjsk yeah i was told i had to get rid of the goatee if i wanted to keep playing so i said “well i quit” 

Leon: THEN THEYRE LIKE “NO SHIT I WAS JOKING WE NEED U”

Leon: anyway i didnt get rid of the goatee bc who tf do u think i am

Hiro: how come you have more facial hair than me :(

Leon: bc i grew it...?

Mondo: Absjako I don’t think ANYBODY has facial hair except Leon and Kaito-

Chi: Guys

Chi: G u y s 

Hiro: what

Chi: Imagine the day that Taka gets facial hair-

Mondo: 0-0

Leon: i-

Leon: i am s c a r e d 

Leon: and i am leaving hiro wanna game

Hiro: yeah sure

Hiro: be at ur room in 30s

Chi: Mondo it’s just u and I again? 

Mondo: Yeah

Chi: Wanna go watch a movie?

Mondo: Hsm?

Chi: Y e s 

Mondo: Yesss

Chi: Cya in a minute 

Leon: w a i t

Leon: im coming to watch hsm too-

Taka: I don’t want to sound rude but would you mind actually doing something school related?

Taka: Or at least educational

Mondo: But hsm-

Chi: Wait wait have you seen Hamilton

Leon: no-?

Hiro: no

Chi: It’s a musical that tells the story of Alexander Hamilton’s life-

Mondo: I-

Taka: Though that’s a musical, it does sound far more educational than your other hobbies

Mondo: Yeah Chi we’re watching this

Leon: ill join

Hiro: ^^

Toko: me toooo

Chi: Ugh I’ll just see you all in my room in 5 mins

Chi: There’s so many ppl coming u might as well bring food

Taka: Could I join?

Chi: OK ANYONE CAN JOIN JUST BRING SOME FOOD AND UR OWN PILLOWS/BLANKETS

Chi: WHY DONT WE JUST HAVE A HUGE SLEEPOVER GOD

Leon: ok

Chi: I was joking-

Leon: im not ill see u in 5

Chi: ...

Chi: Cya in 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHJDJS HAPPY NEW YEARS SUCKERS
> 
> also i did a chiibo drawing it’s on my insta @wakaranai._ ^-^


	15. DO NOT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly don’t know how to feel about this chapter
> 
> it’s almost completely inspired by tumblr and convos i’ve had with my friends

Kaito: Some people here might think

Kaito: That I’m a mature adult

Kaito: But actually

Kaito: I have a glow-in-the-dark rocketship bedspread 

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: I mean you’re not that childish

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: I still have mlp toys

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: And I still watch the show

Kaito: Adults that are still kids inside

Kaito: Squad

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Yesss

Hiro: what rhymes with orange

Leon: no it doesnt 

Byakuya: You have no friends

Leon: actually

Leon: every girl ive ever asked out said she only wanted to be friends

Leon: HA

Toko: what about me-

Leon: u asked me out

Toko: yeah fair enough 

Makoyogurt: The current energy in this chat is both funny and kinda depressing

Leon: [half crying, half laughing]

Makoyogurt: S t o p

Makoyogurt: May I add that cinnamon coke is fucking awful like who came up with that shit 

Hiro: i did that in rehab as a joke once it was fucking painful

Hiro: wait u mean coke like coca cola

Makoyogurt: C O N C E R N

Leon: u mean u did coke without me :(

Hiro: it was before we met

Leon: yeah ok fair enough 

Leon: also

Leon: i am very upset

Leon: with the new school rule

Mondo: Wait what

Makoyogurt: New rule-

Leon: yeah theres a fine for swearing now

Mondo: Oh yeah I saw that

Mondo: I cursed under my breath just before we started holidays and a teacher came up and asked for my money

Mondo: Gave him a 20 and said “keep the fucking change” 

Leon: so that’s why you’ve been given detentions until next year

Mondo: ...Yeah

Hiro: huge dick energy

Kaz: ...

Kaz: POV, ur dating Gundham and u walk to his room and see candles all over the floor and u tell them “oh ur so romantic with all the candles” and they just look at u like “I am summoning demons”

Princess: ...

Princess: That happened one time

Kaz: I’m looking back at something I posted two years ago

Kaz: “Someone has to date me eventually right”

Kaz: Here I am, two years later

Kaz: And no

Hiko: So what?? I just don’t exist??

Kaz: Ngl I forgot u existed for a sec

Kaz: But still

Kaz: Could do better

Hiko: Are you saying you could do better or I could??

Hiko: Bc right now I’d probably fucking prefer Miu

Miu: Uh unnecessary 

Kaz: There you are

Kaz: Ily

Miu: Lowkey wanna know if ur talking to me or Hiko

Hiko: You can’t call me that

Miu: Too bad

Kaz: Both of u ig

Kaz: I love both of u :)

Princess: That was amusing to watch

Celes: if we’re sharing interesting stories

Celes: last night i picked up my cat, noticed he was purring very loudly and thought “very cat. much purrs”

Celes: then i realised i may or may not spend too much time talking to you fucking idiots 

Byakuya: As your boyfriend I would like to inform you that you said that aloud

Celes: that’s even worse-

Kaede: Do you know what’s even worse?

Kaede: I stubbed my toe and yelled “motherfucker”

Kaede: Without fail both Hiro AND Leon walked into the room

Kaede: “You called?”

Leon: glad i made u laugh B)

Toko: when did this happen

Kaede: At some point

Kaz: ...

Kaz: Bringing up that time where Ibuki wasn’t allowed inside the chemistry lab to take her exam without long pants so we had to swap 

Kaz: And I ended up waiting outside in booty shorts for 50 minutes while she enjoyed my sweatpants 

Ibuki: Omg I remember that

Ibuki: Good times good times

Himiko: Apologies

Himiko: MIDDLE FINGERS UP 

Himiko: IF YOU DON’T GIVE A 

Himiko: *whispers so my parents can’t hear me* 

Himiko: frick

Princess: *POLICE SIRENS*

Dark Lord: *HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING*

Mahiru: *Mahiru screaming*

Byakuya: Who the fuck is Mahiru

Celes: i dont know but she seems pretty upset

Ibuki: Yk what

Ibuki: The best part of the oreo is the black cookie part

Ibuki: And NOT the frosting part

Ibuki: Deal with it

Dark Lord: Darkness without light is an abyss

Dark Lord: Light without darkness is blinding 

Dark Lord: You cannot have a coin with one side

Kaz: Yo Socrates chill out it’s a fucking cookie

Junko: I want to be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people then scatter teeth on their bed

Kaz: A dentist

Ibuki: Yo idk what your dentist has been doing to you but I think you need to call the police 

Peko: ...

Peko: I am very sorry to bring this up but

Peko: Gundham reminds me very much of Edward Cullen

Dark Lord: Do not compare me to that vampire - he does not possess anywhere near the amount of power that I do

Kaz: Yo chill

Kaito: My dick is 1 atom wide but an unknowable amount of light years long

Kaito: Monofilament dick gang

Kaito: I roll over in bed and slice the Milky Way in half

Kaede: How do you come up with this shit

Kaito: Idk

Kaz: The idiocy has overflown 

Mondo: You fucking dumbass

Byakuya: Who are you calling a dumbass? 

Byakuya: Have you seen yourself?

Mondo: Why don’t you plant some lavender and when it blooms you can squeeze a leaf or two between your fingers and the smell will calm you down

Mondo: How about you do that

Mondo: Bitch

Kaito: Good idea

Mondo: Thank you

Mondo: I have a lot of other good ideas as well

Byakuya: Such as?

Mondo: Have gay sex

Leon: w a i t 

Leon: wait a minute

Leon: WAIT A MINUTE

Mondo: No fuCK

Kaito: When you accidentally imply something you didn’t mean to imply

Mondo: IM NOT A VIRGIN I SWEAR

Taka: ...

Taka: Are you

Taka: Are you cheating

Leon: BAHAHHAHAHAH

Leon: GET

Leon: FUCKING

Leon: FOUND OUT

Hiro: HWHDJSK

Kaito: OH MY FUCKING  
Chi: I just

Chi: I had a dream

Miu: Where you lost your fuckign virginity?

Miu: Fucking virgin

Chi: I’m asexual I don’t plan on becoming something other than a virgin

Chi: Anyway

Chi: I dreamt that Kokichi called me and said “I have your son”

Chi: I don’t have a son

Chi: Then they said “then who the hell just asked for chocolate milk with a straw and made me cut the crust off of his PB&J?!”

Chi: Then it hit me

Chi: “Oh my god that’s my boyfriend”

Kiibo: W- W h a t 

Kokichi: Bold of you to assume that I would tell you I kidnapped Kiibo

Kiibo: W H A T 

Kokichi: Think about it Kiibo

Kokichi: When was the last time you saw light

Kiibo: A few hours ago-

Kokichi: Isn’t that odd?

Kiibo: No

Kokichi: I will get you to tell me

Kiibo: Tell you what-

Chi: I am very scared

Kaito: Shh

Kokichi: DO ROBOTS HAVE DICKS

Kiibo: WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS

Miu: Ahem

Miu: If I may intervene

Miu: Wouldn’t it depend on the robot

Kiibo: For once she said something worth something

Kokichi: But do you-

Kiibo: Excuse you I am asexual

Kiibo: You do not need to know

Kiibo: And even if I wasn’t asexual don’t you have a girlfriend?

Kiibo: And I a boyfriend 

Chi: ...

Chi: Good one

Mikan: A mosquito just tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it and I started thinking like it was just trying to get food what if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck how would I feel

Hajime: ...

Hajime: Are you okay

Mikan: I don’t think so

Taro: Mood

Chiaki: This is random BUT

Chiaki: Is it normal for your monthly to be late

Hajime: ...yes

Hajime: Could be lack of food/sleep, anxiety, stress, iron deficiency 

Chiaki: Oh ok

Nagito: Or because you are pregnant

Chiaki: I’ve never... done that

Nagito: That you know of

Hajime: What the fuck does this mean

Nagito: I’m jk dw 

Chiaki: I don’t trust you

Nagito: Oh ok

Nagito: I’m sorry

Kaito: Also this is random but I just randomly got the urge to eat soap-

Miu: Ok then

Miu: Go do it

Chiaki: I don’t like where this is going

Kaito: I have a box of soap somewhere I gotta find it

Kaito: Shuichi I think it’s in ur bathroom I’m coming over

Shuyogurt: Yeah ok

Kaito: Ok! It was in Shuichi’s bathroom 

Kaito: (Don’t ask)

Kaito: photo_jpg

Miu: Cinnamon sounds yummy

Kaito: I was thinking that too

Kaito: Any other suggestions?

Chiaki: Lemon grass sounds nice

Nagito: Is that mint-

Hajime: Please do not eat soap

Kaito: Well I’m eating soap 

Hajime: Ig I can’t stop you

Hajime: Eat the cinnamon one

Kaito: Shuichi’s looking at me rn he’s very disappointed

Kaito: Oh I should get a cup of water 

Kaito: Just in case the soap tastes bad

Chiaki: It’s supposed to clean you-

Miu: Yeah but maybe he wants to be dirty

Kaito: You have a girlfriend please stop 

Miu: Eat the fucking soap

Kaito: OK OK

Kaito: I’m going to lick it

Kaito: I’m scared

Kaito: Is it actually going to taste like cinnamon or does it just smell like it

Miu: LICK THE FUCKING SOAP

Kaito: OK

Chiaki: ...

Nagito: ...

Miu: ...

Miu: Where the fuck did he go

Shuyogurt: He’s rinsing his mouth out with water

Shuyogurt: He vomited

Miu: Holy shit

Shuyogurt: Yeah

Chiaki: Friendly reminder, don’t eat soap

Hajime: Gladly

Shuyogurt: Shit he’s making a mess of my bathroom

Shuyogurt: I’m going

Miu: I want to try some soap now too

Chiaki: Do not

Nagito: Do it

Hajime: DO NOT

Nagito: I have a nice soap collection too

Nagito: Yk what

Nagito: This isn’t even half bad

Nagito: Wait no that was the ice cream

Hajime: Why do you have ice cream in your bathroom-

Chiaki: ...

Nagito: Hey at least it wasn’t bleach

Chiaki: I AM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW

Chiaki: HAJIME CLEAN OUT HIS BATHROOM

Nagito: NO DON’T TAKE MY BLEACH

Nagito: I ONLY PUT IT IN MY HAIR IT DOESN’T GO ANYWHERE ELSE

Chiaki: Oh really-?

Chiaki: Then I’m not going to be surprised tonight

Nagito: ...

Nagito: What

Nagito: I said “hair” I didn’t say “hair on my head”

Hajime: I am ceasing to talk to you

Hajime: I am disgusted

Chiaki: I-

Chiaki: I don’t know how to feel

Chiaki: I don’t know what to say just

Chiaki: Just fucking look at this

Hajime: I do not want to

Hajime: Goodbye

Hajime: Cruel world

Chiaki: Lol bye

Nagito: Chiaki are you still coming to steal my bleach

Chiaki: Yes

Nagito: ...

Nagito: Ok then


	16. HBDAY LEON

Nagito: Hey

Nagito: ...

Nagito: Everyone’s bones are wet

Kaz: Literally why would you say that

Nagito: Nobody said hi back

Chiaki: Hi back

Nagito: ...

Nagito: I am about to make a terrible decision

Nagito: *puts salami in between oreos* 

Ibuki: DO NOT

Nagito: Actually

Nagito: Turns out the flavours cancel each other out and it actually just tastes like nothing

Kaz: Hey man what the fuck

Dark Lord: That was God shielding you 

Nagito: Also Kiibo

Nagito: If your pronouns are they and them

Kiibo: He and they but continue

Nagito: Anyway

Nagito: How should I refer to you when I brag about you

Nagito: My daughter? My son?

Kiibo: Chiaki’s just been calling me her kid or her child

Nagito: I shall call you... my eldest spawn

Chiaki: I would like to add that I am also enby and use she/they

Chiaki: So uh

Chiaki: If you’re gonna refer to me I’d prefer the term is gender neutral but if there is no gender neutral term then I’m good with feminine stuff

Himiko: ^^

Himiko: Same!!

Kiibo: Same as Chiaki but for masc terms

Kiibo: I’d prefer significant other or partner but I’m also good with boyfriend (for example)

Kokichi: ^^

Dark Lord: ^^

Nagito: Ok eldest spawn

Chi: What in fucks name is happening

Nagito: Kiibo is my eldest spawn

Kiibo: ...

Kiibo: Aren’t I your only spawn

Nagito: Chiaki can we change that

Chiaki: We’re 18

Nagito: Fair enough

Nagito: Five years

Chiaki: ...

Chiaki: Five years

Chi: What’s going on

Chiaki: He’s asking for kids

Chi: Ok well I’m sad

Chi: Y’all can make shit for your s/o’s 

Chi: I can’t make Kiibo food or drinks

Chi: Because he can’t eat/drink it

Kiibo: :(

Kaito: Can you make me food

Kaito: Shuichi won’t

Chi: Ok

Chi: I learnt how to make choccy milk earlier and I’ve had 12 glasses

Mondo: C O N C E R N 

Mondo: Also uh Kaito

Mondo: You uh

Mondo: Have one dad

Kaito: WHAT

Mukuro: maki you have one mum

Maki: NO WHAT  
Mondo: It’s ok

Mondo: Said dad was replaced

Mondo: With a mum

Mukuro: said mum was replaced with a dad

Maki: WHOS MY DAD

Kaito: WHOS MY MUM  
Sayaka: *stands awkwardly*

Leon: NO FUCK

Leon: NO MONDO

Leon: NOOOO

Leon: DO U KNOW THE EFFORT I PUT INTO GETTING U AND TAKA TOGETHER

Leon: DO U KNOW WHAT YOUVE DONE

Mondo: ...Yes

Mondo: Th that’s why I did it-

Mukuro: maki r u upset 

Maki: Literally why would I be upset

Mukuro: ...bc sayaka and i broke up

Maki: And??

Maki: Obv u might be upset but its not like I was ur number one shipper omg

Maki: WAIT

Maki: YOU LEFT THE DEADLY GIRL X MUSICAL GIRLFRIEND CLUB

Mukuro: WAIT SHIT

Mukuro: WHAT ABT DEADLY GIRL X SMART BF

Leon: wait

Leon: w a i t 

Leon: W A I T

Taka: What are we waiting for?

Leon: ARE YOU FUCKING MUKURO

Taka: Yes

Leon: i meant to write fucking dating mukuro but same thing

Leon: WAIT WHAT

Mukuro: JAHDJAKSJ

Mondo: ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Mondo: A WHOLE YEAR AND U SAY NO 

Mondo: ONE DAY AND YOURE ALREADY DOING THAT

Taka: ...I was joking

Mukuro: NO FUCK WHERES JUNKO

Taka: Hi suckers

Leon: NO WAIT IS TAKA DATING MUKURO OR NOT

Mukuro: THAT IS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION 

Taka: Yes

Leon: ARE YOU TAKA OR JUNKO 

Mukuro: I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW

Taka: Guys

Taka: I’m trying to be funny

Taka: It’s Taka

Leon: SEND A PHOTO

Taka: photo_jpg

Taka: It’s me

Mukuro: THAT COULDVE BEEN AN OLD PHOTO

Leon: SEND A DIFFERENT ONE

Mukuro: MAKE A VIDEO

Leon: YEAH

Leon: DO THE DEFAULT DANCE

Taka: ...

Taka: video_jpg

Leon: wait fuck it is taka

Mondo: WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT

Mukuro: WHY DID YOU LEARN THAT

Taka: ...

Taka: Leon told me to

Mukuro: LEON ISTG

Leon: HEY HE WANTED TO KNOW SOME MEMES

Kirumi: What on earth is happening

Leon: hiro just got taken to jail and were trying to bail him out but we don’t have enough money and byakubitch refuses to help

Kirumi: ...

Kirumi: Why is he in jail 

Leon: syo gave him too much weed and he started running around the house screaming absolute bullshit and the old shit down the road filed a complaint for all the noise 

Toko: then takas dad came along 

Taka: My dad is a policeman, of course he’s going to arrive at a house when there’s a complaint filed

Toko: and when the police found out about our relationship hiro jumped out the window

Hiro: WHAT

Hiro: WHEN

Kirumi: ...

Leon: see he just had too much weed

Leon: he was too high to remember

Mukuro: ok this is funny as shit and the fact that you goT TAKA TO PARTICIPATE IS PHENOMENAL 

Kirumi: That was an interesting prank-

Mondo: ...

Mondo: This actually happened didn’t it

Byakuya: But I actually bailed them out last time

Kirumi: What

Kirumi: What’s ACTUALLY happening

Leon: oh were just tryna figure out if taka and mukuro are dating or not 

Kirumi: Oh ok

Taka: Wait what

Taka: WAIT I REMEMBER THAT

Taka: I REMEMBER WHEN HIRO GOT ARRESTED

Leon: yeah that was fun

Leon: but anyway

Leon: mondo i am very upset

Leon: you and taka broke up

Leon: ON MY BIRTHDAY NO LESS

Mondo: WAIT FUCK

Mondo: NO FUCK ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY

Leon: YEAH !!

Hiro: HBDAY LEON

Mondo: HBDY

Toko: HBDAY LEON

Leon: GET BACK TOGETHER

Leon: ITS MY BDAY WISH

Mondo: WISH CANT BE DONE

Mondo: PLS CHOOSE OTHER WISH  
Leon: oh ok

Leon: uh

Leon: give me back my skateboard

Mondo: It’s Chi’s now

Leon: U FUCKING STOLE IT

Chi: I’ll give it back

Chi: But you have to buy me one

Leon: WHAT

Leon: MONDO STOLE IT

Chi: Fair enough

Chi: Mondo buy me a skateboard

Mondo: Oh ok

Mondo: Brb

Leon: good

Leon: chi im comign to urs to get my skateboard

Chi: Ok

Chi: Cya in a sec


	17. Wait what

Miu: This kinda dead

Byakuya: What? Your brain?

Chi: OHHHHH

Miu: No your family’s corporation 

Miu: Especially after it’s going to be handed over to you

Chi: GUYS GET HERE

Byakuya: Unlike you, I have a family that would hand things over to me

Byakuya: Let alone have things decent enough to hand over

Leon: OH MY FUCKING

Miu: I’m sorry that your family is taking my money

Miu: Fucking whore

Chi: GUYS COME SEE THIS SHIT THIS IS EPIC

Byakuya: What does us taking your family’s money have to do with anything?

Byakuya: Nothing? Thought so

Miu: You taking my family’s money means there’s no money to buy anything therefore nothing to hand over?

Byakuya: Yes, and what about the fact that your brain’s dead?

Byakuya: I’m sure that your inventions would earn enough money - if you continued to have them

Byakuya: Hence the brain dead

Miu: You’re lucky I don’t strangle you right now

Byakuya: Leave your kinks out of this

Kaito: I THINK HE WON

Miu: My kinks involve many things - strangling isn’t one

Miu: ESPECIALLY strangling YOU

Hiro: BAHAHAHAHAH

Leon: COMPETITIONS BACK ON

Byakuya: I don’t see why strangling would not be one of your kinks - they do involve some questionable things

Miu: How would you know unless you’re my stalker?

Chi: SBDJWJSJ

Byakuya: I never said I knew your kinks, I only said that kinks are questionable things

Miu: Uh yeah duh of course they are that’s why they’re KINKY

Byakuya: Precisely

Chi: Aw fuck guys funs over

Kaito: Why aren’t they arguing about Miu being braindead 

Byakuya: Oh yes - why aren’t we?

Miu: Because we discussed this-?

Miu: Oh Kaito how was the soap

Kaito: Disgusting

Kaito: Absolutely disgusting

Byakuya: The real question is why aren’t we discussing your being of braindead?

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Because I have a stomachache

Kokichi: ...

Kokichi: Why

Kaito: It was EITHER the iced coffee, soap, chai latte or alcohol

Kokichi: Probably the fucking soap-? 

Kaito: It tasted horrible

Kaito: That would be understandable

Kokichi: Watch out you’re going to start shitting soap

Kaito: I hope the fuck not

Kaito: I only had SOME of a bar

Kokichi: WHY

Kaito: Miu told me to

Miu: EXCUSE YOU

Miu: CHIAKI AND NAGITO ALSO SAID TO

Hajime: And I tried to stop him

Byakuya: You are all idiots

Byakuya: Hajime, you are an exception

Hajime: Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

Byakuya: ...I take that back 

Mikan: Yes

Mikan: I think it is funny

Chiaki: I was so confused for a second- 

Hajime: I’m confused, you make sentences backwards and backwards sentences make you confused I’m- 

Mikan: I’m not smart enough to come up with backwards sentences 

Hajime: Same

Hajime: BUT things do sometimes do that

Hajime: And that do sometimes do things

Hajime: But same

Chiaki: What the what

Nagito: I thought you meant like actually backwards

Nagito: Or more accurately

Nagito: Backwards actually like meant you thought I

Hajime: Meant I thought you what-?

Hajime: I do not trust you

Nagito: Frick

Taka: Did you just say frick

Chiaki: I swear the day Taka swears is the day the world ends

Junko: *evil laughing*

Hajime: NO 

Nagito: Junko don’t-

Junko: *kidnaps Taka and makes him swear*

Taka: Frick no

Chiaki: :0

Chiaki: TAKA DONT

Junko: *laughs loudly*

Hajime: NO LEAVE HIM BE

Mondo: When did class 77 start caring about Taka’s swearing 

Hajime: Since we decided to

Nagito: I swear I will murder Junko

Chiaki: Au where Junko and Nagito are actually siblings

Chiaki: Or the types of cousins that hate each other’s guts

Nagito: ...

Junko: Cousins

Chiaki: wAiT

Chiaki: *makes a bunch of “au”s bc they’ll just be real*

Nagito: Do NOT

Leon: make an au where taka and mondo never broke up

Mondo: Make an au where Leon fuCKING DEALT WITH IT

Taka: Make an au where Mondo didn’t swear in every sentence

Chiaki: ...

Chiaki: Au where Hiro’s mum and Taka’s dad got together

Taka: ...

Taka: Why

Chiaki: Idk

Hiro: GUYS GUESS WHAT

Mondo: HOLY SHIT UR A MAGICIAN

Chiaki: DID UR MUM AND TAKAS DAD GET TOGETHER

Hiro: what no

Hiro: I FOUND MORE WEED UNDER MY BED I DIDNT FINISH IT ALL

Chiaki: ...

Chiaki: Au where Hiro finishes his weed

Taka: Why were you looking under your bed anyway?

Hiro: oh i dropped my phone and i went to find it

Hiro: i just got a message from my mum

Hiro: uhh

Hiro: @Taka hey little bro

Taka: NOOOO

Chiaki: BAHAHAHAHAHA

Taka: NO I CAN’T EVER GO BACK TO MY HOUSE NOW GOSH NO 

Chiaki: Omg

Chiaki: If-

Chiaki: If Hiro’s mum and Taka’s dad are together-

Chiaki: DOES THAT MEAN THEY’RE STEP BROTHERS

Mondo: DON’T DO THIS

Hiro: *smiles* hey step bro

Taka: *cries*

Chiaki: BAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

Leon: im so finished

Leon: i-

Leon: i cant with ur bs

Hiro: :(

Leon: ...

Chiaki: Wait Mondo you have a brother right

Mondo: I don’t like where this is going

Chiaki: HE’S OLDER THAN YOU RIGHT

Mondo: I DON’T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

Chiaki: HE’S HIRO’S AGE RIGHT

Mondo: NO FUCK

Chiaki: *grins*

Chiaki: *inhales*

Chiaki: AU WHERE HIRO AND MONDOS BROTHER GET TOGETHER

Mondo: NOOOO

Taka: Wait 

Taka: Then Mondo would technically be my stepbrother-in-law

Mondo: Fuck yeah

Hiro: what

Mondo: Do whatever u want

Chiaki: I’m very scared now

Junko: What’s happening

Taka: I have a feeling I might regret this

Mondo: Oh god 

Mukuro: im sorry but what the h*ck is happening why are yall talking about taka and hiro being brothers when did this happen

Mondo: ...

Mondo: Why did u censor “h*ck”

Mukuro: because its a fucking bad word

Taka: MUKURO

Mukuro: also im dating taka and he doesnt like swearing so yk

Mondo: ...

Mondo: Heck isn’t a swear word

Mukuro: he thinks it is

Leon: WAIT SO YOU ARE DATING

Mukuro: i thought that was confirmed when i said “maki ur mum has been replaced with a dad”

Leon: wait rlly

Leon: im stupid

Mukuro: yes you are

Leon: also what the fuck is this about hiro getting with mondos brother literally when did this happen

Hiro: it didnt 

Leon: good

Taka: I mean, it might

Mondo: Yeah

Mukuro: ...

Leon: not helping

Taka: ...

Taka: Does anybody want to hear a potassium joke?

Mondo: Not rlly

Taka: K

Mukuro: *gets very angry but doesnt kill u bc thatd make me upset*

Leon: *gets very angry but does kill u bc u wont stop giving me detentions*

Hiro: *gets very angry but its bc i dont understand the joke*

Mukuro: is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemys eyes?

Taka: Yes, that’s assault

Mukuro: i know its a salt but is it a crime?

Taka: Wait

Leon: BAHAHHA

Hiro: i dont understand :/

Leon: hey guys should i become a pilot

Mondo: Literally why

Leon: itd help me get over my biggest fear

Hiro: heights?

Leon: dying alone

Mukuro: BAHAHAHAGA

Mondo: ...

Taka: I’d prefer you don’t

Leon: dick

Taka: Excuse you

Leon: i meant to write fuck but autocorrect censored me

Leon: i-

Leon: hiro just walked into my room to put some ketchup on my forehead and say “simba”

Mondo: AHHHHH

Leon: nO

Mondo: Ok

Mukuro: i kinda just realised that hiros hair looks like a peacocks tail pls dont harm me

Mondo: OMFG

Mondo: OMFG IT DOES

Leon: BAHHAHAHAHAH

Leon: CHI HACK IT HACK IT

Chi: What am I doing

Leon: HIROS HAIR IS LIKE A PEACOCKS TAIL

Leon: PEACOCK HAIR

Chi: Omg yes

Hiro changed their name to Peacock Hair

Peacock Hair: why do you have to bully me

Chi: We don’t

Leon: yeah this is totally just the first time hahaha

Peacock Hair changed their name to Hiro

Hiro: Please

Chi: Ok :/

Leon: ok im leaving were not making fun of anybody anymore

Taka: Why would we make fun of people

Mukuro: ...

Mukuro: i was lowkey boutta say why doesnt taka come to mine during the holidays

Mukuro: then i remember

Mukuro: im a fuckign orphan

Mukuro: i dont have parents to go back to

Taka: I would suggest you come to mine on the holidays but I don’t think you’d want to deal with Hiro for that duration

Mukuro: god no

Hiro: :/

Hiro: ill just extend my polyamory onto mondos bro and stay at his

Mondo: YOU WILL NOT

Hiro: how about

Hiro: *pronounces lasagne like champagne*

Taka: Do not

Hiro: WAIT

Hiro added Daiya

Daiya: Hi I’m not talking here 

Mondo: JEJDJSK

Daiya: HOLY SHIT MONDO

Daiya: Who the fuck is Hiro

Daiya: Or anybody else

Mondo: BSJDJS THEYRE MY CLASSMATES

Sayaka: :0 Hi !!

Daiya: ...This one?

Mondo: JAKDJ YEAH THATS SAYAKA MAIZONO

Daiya: THATS SAYAKA MAIZONO

Mondo: THATS SAYAKA MAIZONO

Sayaka: IM FUCKING SAYAKA MAIZONO

Mondo: Uh no I AM 

Sayaka: NANDJSK

Mukuro: BHAHAHAHAH

Hiro: what

Daiya: WAIT WHAT

Mondo: YEAH

Taka: I’d prefer you didn’t talk about this 

Mondo: oh shut up you remember what happened the other day

Mondo: “are you fuckign mukuro”

Mondo: “yes”

Mondo: BRO

Hiro: someones still salty

Daiya: *whispers* what happened

Hiro: *whispers* mondo and taka used to date and mondos kinda pissed bc they dated for a whole year and never fucked and now takas got a gf and mondos jealous that theyre fucking

Taka: I told you I was joking 

Mukuro: bro he was kidding

Daiya: *whispers back* oh ok

Daiya: WAIT WHAT

Daiya: MONDO YOU WERE DATING SOMEONE FOR A WHOLE YEAR AND DIDNT TELL ME

Mondo: Uh no lol sorry

Daiya: All g just tell me next time

Mondo: Ok

Daiya: Aight I’mma head out now

Mondo: Yeah me too

Sayaka: ...

Sayaka: Mondo I have an idea

Mondo: What

Sayaka: Come to my room

Mukuro: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sayaka: No it’s child appropriate 

Mukuro: oh ok

Mukuro: waIT WHERE ARE YOU GETTING CP

Sayaka: WHAT

Mondo: NO WERE JUST GONNA HANG AND WATCH A MOVIE WTF

Mukuro: oh ok

Mukuro: bye then

Taka: ...It’s just you an I

Mukuro: yeah ill just go to ur room be right there

Taka: Ok

Hiro: ...

Hiro: yeah ok im alone again

Hiro: *cries*

Hiro: *leaves*


	18. idk this is just a bunch of bad jokes and *insert crying*

Sayaka: OK IK I LEFT BUT I TOLD MONDO HE SHOULD SLEEP IN MY ROOM AND HES LIKE “OK LEMME GRAB MY STUFF” SO I WENT WITH HIM AND

Sayaka: photo_jpg 

Sayaka: HES TRYING TO HIDE IT BUT HE STILL HAS THE HELLO KITTY PJS

Mondo: I DONT WEAR THEM I JUST DIDNT BIN THEM

Sayaka: You were going to bin them? :(

Mondo: No I just don’t wear them  
Chi: HOLY SHIT

Chi: BC TAKA AND MONDO BROKE UP THEY ARENT MY DADS

Chi: OR THEY ARE AND THEYRE DIVORCED

Chi: AND I HAVE TWO STEPMUMS

Hiro: ...

Hiro: u have two stepmums?

Leon: i think we all know where this is going

Chi: NOOOO

Chi: WAIT

Chi: W A I T

Chi: At xmas I said that I’m still 17 and can’t get myself a drink-

Chi: But before that I said I’m 18 so it’s not cp (when y’all wanted proof I was male)

Chi: IM ACTUALLY STILL 17 SO TECHNICALLY IT WAS CP

Chi: But everyone who saw it was 17 too and it was with my permission to technically it was legal 

Mondo: ...

Mondo: When the fuck did this happen 

Chi: Don’t ask  
Chi: Scroll back like a week

Mondo: Fuck no

Chi: *groans* 

Chi: I said I was a guy and Leon decided to be an ass and ask for proof so I sent him nudes

Mondo: WHY THE FUCK

Mondo: LEON KNOWS THAT IF SOMEONES MALE THAT DOESNT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN THEYRE A BOY

Chi: YEAH IK 

Chi: IT WAS FUNNY THO

Sayaka: I want to but I don’t want to watch this unfold

Chi: QKNSKSLD

Leon: HEY I WAS BEING AN ASS AT THE TIME LIKE CHI SAID

Mondo: WHAT EVEN STARTED THE CONVO  
Chi: We’re not going through this again

Daiya: ...

Daiya: Who bought Mondo Hello Kitty pjs

Sayaka: Me

Sayaka: I also got him a dog

Sayaka: WAIT YOU CAN’T HAVE DOGS ON SCHOOL GROUNDS WHERE IS HE

Mondo: ITS OK HES IN MY CUPBOARD

Chi: WHAT

Sayaka: WHAT

Mondo: YEAH I CLEARED OUT MY CUPBOARD AND HE’S BEEN LIVING IN THERE 

Chi: LITERALLY WHY

Sayaka: WHY DID I GIVE YOU A DOG 

Daiya: Why DID you give him a dog-

Mondo: Asking again but why was Daiya added

Chi: Idk

Chi: Ask Hiro

Daiya: Who

Sayaka: Uh 

Mukuro: hiro was joking abt extending his polyamory onto daiya

Daiya: ...

Chi: Oh fuck

Chi: WAIT

Daiya changed their name to Danny Zuko

Chi: One) I totally don’t know your password shh

Chi: Two) IM SORRY YOU JUST LOOK LIKE HIM

Danny Zuko: Jsksjxnak

Hiro: HI IM HERE WHATS UP

Hiro: who added danny zuko

Sayaka: WAIT

Sayaka: W A I T

Sayaka: WHOS SANDY

Hiro: the main girl from grease

Sayaka: No I mean like

Sayaka: If Daiya’s Danny then who’s Sandy

Hiro: oh so you mean that that wasnt actually danny zuko 

Sayaka: ...

Sayaka: Yes

Hiro: :(

Mondo: Anyway

Mondo: Why was this conversation started

Chi: I uhm

Chi: I don’t know-?

Sayaka: I told everyone you still have the Hello Kitty pjs

Mondo: And??

Chi: Where is this even going

Sayaka: Idk

Chi: Oh ok

Sayaka: Yeah we should get back to the movie

Sayaka: What movie are we going to watch

Mondo: ...

Mondo: Hsm?

Sayaka: Yesssss

Sayaka: Ok bye guys

Chi: I want to join in :/

Leon: ...

Leon: come to my room

Toko: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Leon: NO

Leon: BRO CHI HAS A BF

Chi: YEAH !!

Toko: NOT BRO

Toko: BAe

Leon: BAE** CHI HAS A BF

Chi: STILL

Toko: :(

Chi: I have an idea

Leon: what-

Chi: Start referring to America as South Canada

Chi: Americans will go crazy

Leon: say it aloud- “south canada”

Leon: it doesn’t even sound right?

Hiro: its working

Leon: this is what you get

Leon: hmmm who can say the most cursed shit

Taro: There are more nipples than people in this world

Chi: 0-0

Taka: ...

Leon: JEHDJSKW

Leon: I HAD AN IDEA

Leon: IMAGINE IF TWO PEOPLE SWAPPED PERSONALITIES

Chi: WAIT OMFG

Chi: I HAVE EVERYONES NAMES

Taka: ...

Chi: OK SO

Chi: IMAGINE IF HIRO AND LEON HAD TO SWAP

Leon: not much of a difference tbh

Hiro: yeah

Leon: except im a lot smarter

Hiro: :(

Chi: Oh ok

Chi: How about

Chi: *laughs already* Taka-

Chi: AND MONDO-

Taka: ...

Taka: I think if we swapped personalities, Leon wouldn’t hesitate at the opportunity to video record the whole thing

Miu: Which other wlws just realised that Velma always wears a red sweater

Leon: u??

Leon: what does that even mean??

Chi: Yeah-

Hiro: ...

Taka: ...

Miu: U idiots it means she’s wlw

Leon: RLLY

Chi: YEAH I JUST GOOGLED IT

Chi: WHEN VELMA WAS DATING SHAGGY THAT WAS COMPHET

Chi: SHES ACTUALLY A LESBIAN

Chi: (I’m not making this up it’s confirmed !!) 

Miu: WAIT SHES A LESBIAN

Miu: I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST WLW

Leon: JEHDJSKSJ

Taka: ...

Taka: Bye

Leon: oh ok

Chi: *talks abt lesbian characters*

Chi: WJDJSK VANYA

Miu: Who??

Chi: U idiot

Chi: Go watch the umbrella academy rn

Chi: 24 or smth episodes total for now

Chi: I’ll see you in 48 hours at most

Chi: Don’t expect to hear from me tomorrrow I’m going to rewatch the whole series

Miu: ...

Miu: Ok then


	19. Idk Leon got bullied a lot tho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh ty to my sister who wrote the first like 40 lines of text w me lol

Chi: Ok so I said I was going to watch all of the umbrella academy again but I’ve already seen it so yk

Mondo: Ok u do u

Chi: Literally nobody cares

Mondo: Ye

Chi: Why aren’t you useful

Chi: Go- go get a job or something 

Daiya: I’ve been telling him to

Daiya: He won’t listen

Mondo: Is that really necessary 

Leon: what necessary

Chi: Can you read the fucking chat

Chi: And yes it is

Leon: dySLEXIA

Mondo: What

Leon: idk

Leon: im too lazy 

Chi: Too lazy to WHAT

Leon: READ THE CHAT

Chi: THEN WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN THE CHAT

Leon: BC I WANNA HAVE CONVOS

Mondo: JUST READ IT

Chi: *groans* 

Chi: I SAID IM NOT REWATCHING UMBRELLA ACADEMY BC IVE ALREADY SEEN IT

Chi: THEN I TOLD MONDO HE WAS USELESS

Chi: AND TOLD HIM TO GET A JOB

Leon: chi dont u know

Leon: mondos not useless

Leon: he can be used as a bad example 

Mondo: I’m literally a better example then you

Leon: fair point continue

Chi: Mondo why won’t you just get a job

Mondo: Why don’t you??

Chi: Fair point continue 

Leon: ok so why did u tell mondo to get a job 

Chi: I would tell u to read back but I know you won’t

Leon: RUDE

Leon: true but still

Chi: I expressed that I wouldn’t be rewatching the umbrella academy and no one cared but Mondo was the only one texting so I let my anger out on him

Chi: Mondo I’m sorry

Mondo: You’re forgiven

Leon: ur still useless

Mondo: And you’re dead

Leon: literally how

Mondo: *calls Clover*

Leon: N0000000

Leon: NO DOGGY ATTACK

Leon: EAT THE EGG INSTEAD

Makoyogurt: What

Mondo: LITERALLY WHY WOULD I GIVE A DOG AN EGG

Mondo: Oh you mean Makoto

Mondo: I’M NOT MAKING CLOVER ATTACK MAKOTO LITERALLY WHAT DID HE DO WRONG

Leon: IDK

Leon: HE WAS THE FIRST PERSON I THOUGHT OF 

Makoyogurt: Why weren’t you thinking about your significant others 

Hiro: UH YEAH

Leon: do u honestly think i want clover to attack them 

Hiro: fair point continue

Chi: But why Makoto, why not Byakuya

Makoyogurt: Uh yeah !!

Byakuya: Because I can and will sue any and all of you if you were to attack me

Mondo: But technically if it’s my dog who attacks you-

Byakuya: I would sue you because you are the owner of said dog

Byakuya: I could also get your dog put down

Byakuya: And have you arrested for keeping an animal on school premises

Mondo: Ok fair point I won’t get Clover to attack you 

Makoyogurt: Why are we just arguing when Leon could be dead and/or dying 

Leon: its ok im alive

Mondo: ...

Mondo: Good

Leon: wheres the dog

Mondo: In my cupboard

Leon: w h y

Mondo: Where else is it supposed to be

Makoyogurt: Not on school grounds ??

Mondo: Fair point

Mondo: Wait where’s Chi

Mondo: WHERE’S CLOVER

Leon: NO DONT KILL CHI

Leon: ill kill ur dog if he kills chi

Mondo: N00000

Mondo: *runs to Chi’s room*

Mondo: HE STOLE MY FUCKING DOG

Makoyogurt: WHAT 

Chi: MONDO YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE SUCH A CUTE DOG AND NOT SHARE

Mondo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S MY DOG

Sayaka: Our** dog

Mondo: What

Sayaka: I bought him for you PLUS we’re dating so he’s ours

Mondo: Fair point

Mondo: Anyway

Mondo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S NOT YOUR DOG CHI

Chi: Can he be-

Mondo: What no

Leon: chi i have an idea

Chi: Oh yes

Mondo: Oh NO

Makoyogurt: Buy your own dog !!

Sayaka: Yes please do that

Leon: :(

Leon: imma get a ranga one

Leon: and ill call him...

Leon: wait

Leon: mondo what breed dog do u have

Mondo: ...

Mondo: Jack Russell?

Sayaka: Jack Russell 

Mondo: Literally why do you remember that

Sayaka: Because

Leon: ye ok im getting one of those

Leon: ill call em 

Leon: hmm

Leon: ill go out and buy one rn actually brb

Leon: wait

Sayaka: What

Leon: do u have a carrier cage

Sayaka: Yes

Sayaka: Want me to come with you?

Mondo: No Sayaka our movie-

Sayaka: We could go as friends to get a dog for your birthday (bc ur bday was the other day so technically this can be counted as bday shopping)

Sayaka: Sorry Mondo Leon wants his dog 

Sayaka: Leon we’ll have the dog in the carrier cage and we’ll put them in a small handbag then it doesn’t look suspicious at all

Mondo: :(

Leon: *laughs at mondo*

Leon: sweet

Leon: lets go

Leon: wait i dont have a car

Sayaka: *jingles keys* I got it 

Mondo: Wait you’re getting a Jack Russell too

Leon: yeppers

Leon: cya in like an hour w my dog

Leon: and wait ur dog is male right

Leon: i dont wanna get a female if urs is male bc yk,, breeding

Mondo: Wait I didn’t actually check

Mondo: Holy shit 

Leon: ... what

Mondo: I’ve been calling the dog “he/him” and the dogs female

Leon: :0

Leon: TRANS DOG TRANS DOG

Mondo: No I’ve just been misgendering the dog

Mondo: Nope trans dog I tried calling Clover a girl and he lost it

Leon: TRANS DOG TRANS DOG TRANS DOG

Leon: oh shit gtg sayaka doesnt want me on the phone in the car lol

Mondo: You leaving me alone?

Leon: @Chi

Chi: What’s up

Chi: Oh he left

Mondo: Hi everyone left me alone 

Chi: WAIT HOLY SHIT UR DOGS TRANS

Mondo: Yes he got angry when I tried to call him a girl

Chi: Kinda like me now

Chi: I used to want to be called a girl (I think I might’ve had a trans phase at some point) but if u call me a girl now I’ll (ง'̀-'́)ง

Mondo: Ik-

Chi: :0 Wanna go work out

Mondo: Might as well do something worthwhile until Leon comes back with his dog

Chi: :0 LEONS GETTING A DOG

Mondo: Yeah-

Chi: Yk what we’ll just talk abt this in the gym

Chi: Cya in like a minute

Mondo: Ok-

Mondo: Cya


	20. I talked about Umbrella Academy a lot in this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Eepsie who reminded me that frankly nobody cares that Hiyoko got removed and we might just keep it that way
> 
> Jk I’ll add her back

Mikan: This chat is so dead

Mahiru: WAIT WHY HAS HIYOKO NOT VERBALLY ABUSED MIKAN YET

Chi: ???

Chi: I removed her

Mahiru: WAIT WHEN THE FUCK

Chi: ...

Chi: Literal ages ago

Mahiru: o_O

Mahiru: ADD HER BACK

Chi: Literally why

Mahiru: Bc she’s my friend

Chi added Hiyoko

Hiyoko: HA

Hiyoko: PIG BARF STILL TALKS IN THIS DISGUSTING EXCUSE FOR A CHAT

Chi removed Hiyoko

Chi: Now you see why I removed her??

Mahiru: Let me talk to her in dms 

Chi: Have fun lol

Mikan: There’s nobody here now is there

Hajime: *disappears* no

Leon: HAHAHAHAHA I GOT A DOG

Mondo: SHOW ME THE DOG

Leon: photo_jpg

Leon: I CHECKED (unlike u) AND THE DOGS FEMALE SO WHAT DO I CALL HER

Mondo: IDK THINK

Leon: HMMM OH I GOT AN IDEA

Leon: IT SHOULD BE IRISH THEMED BC YK

Leon: IM IRISH

Leon: also your dog has an irish themed name

Mondo: OH YE OK

Leon: I SHOULD CALL HER POTATO

Mondo: Just think over what you just said

Mondo: You’re going to call your dog Potato

Leon: ...

Leon: no

Leon: ill call her clancy

Mondo: Are you sure?

Leon: ...

Leon: cinnamon

Mondo: Not the best but eh

Leon: :/

Mondo: Just name your own dog

Leon: shell be called bella

Leon: dont ask

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: ...

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Are you kidding me

Mondo: What-

Leon: ...

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Hmm let me think how to word it

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Which fictional characters are called Bella

Sayaka: ...

Mondo: The main chick in the Disney movie?? Idk??

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Sayaka knows

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: You’ll also recall that her dad (well actual her stepdad but still) is a baseball player

Sayaka: Leon when did you watch Twilight

Leon: not at all

Leon: i just thought bella was a good name

Mondo: ...

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Oh you didn’t?

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: *breaks into your room*

Leon: do not

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: *looks through your movie collection*

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: *realised that you probably use Netflix or another streaming thing*

Leon: do NOT

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: *looks through your Netflix viewing history*

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Wait it isn’t here

Leon: HA

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: Well

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: @Toko @Hiro Did either of you watch Twilight with Leon?

Toko: yes

Hiro: maybe

Hina Runs Dunkin’ Donuts: HA GET FOUND OUT

Leon: GUYS ISTG

Leon: BAES** ISTG

Leon: not letting toko get angry at me for that again

Toko: u learned

Leon: yes i did

Toko: :)

Mondo: Guys literally what the fuck is up with Taka??

Taka: What-?

Mondo: He’s had 12 coffees today is that normal

Chi: ITS FUCKING 8:30AM

Chi: ON THE HOLIDAYS

Taka: I’m tired

Chi: ARE YOU STAYING AWAKE ALL NIGHT

Chi: LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Chi: ARE YOU PLAYING MINECRAFT

Chi: GO TO SLEEP EARLIER OR IM GOING TO START TAKING ALL TECHNOLOGY FROM YOUR ROOM AT 10PM

Taka: Now who’s treating me like their child?

Mondo: HE JUST FUCKING SASSED CHI THIS IS NOT RIGHT

Taka: *changes personality slightly*

Taka: Bro can I please just stay up all night 

Chi: ...

Chi: No more than once a week

Taka: *stays up till 4am and wakes up at 7am*

Chi: N000

Chi: Well actually you’re still getting sleep

Chi: How about we say that maximum one night a week you can pull an all nighter

Chi: Maximum two nights a week you can stay up until 4am

Chi: Maximum two nights a week you can stay up until 1am

Chi: And the other nights you have to sleep normally

Taka: ...

Taka: Ok

Mondo: ...

Mondo: Did you just

Mondo: Chi did you just negotiate with him

Mondo: ABOUT HIS BEDTIME

Chi: BAHAHAHA IG I DID

Leon: literally what the fuck

Taka: I’m going to binge watch the umbrella academy because Chi said it’s good

Taka: Also I’m bored

Mukuro: ...

Mukuro: can i join you?

Taka: Make yourself a bunch of coffe because we’re staying up all night

Toko: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mukuro: NO FUCK OFF 

Taka: Are you talking to me or her?

Mukuro: LITERALLY WHY WOULD I TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF

Taka: Fair point

Mukuro: also did u say coffe

Taka: ... I guess I did

Mukuro: ok i wont have coffee then 

Mukuro: im good with coffe

Chi: You have to pay for the other e

Taka: ...

Taka: Can I

Mukuro: can u what

Taka: canistartusingthenicknamechigaveyou

Chi: I thought you were going to ask if you could kill me

Chi: Because no

Mukuro: uhh go ahead

Mukuro: (about the nickname thing pls dont kill chihiro) 

Taka: *tests*

Taka: Mukuroni

Taka: No fudge that felt weird

Mukuro: whatever youre comfy with idrc 

Chi: *sits patiently and watches this unfold*

Chi: Get off your phones and go watch umbrella academy

Mukuro: u were talking to us??

Chi: Ignore that

Taka: Ok

Mukuro: k

Chi: Watch the series

Taka: Ok

Mukuro: ok

Chi: Wait no I’m alone now

Mondo: ???

Toko: im still here

Leon: uh same

Chi: ...

Chi: Go watch umbrella academy

Leon: no

Chi: Please

Leon: wait whats it about

Chi: It’s adventure action fantasy-

Chi: Shit like that

Leon: rating?

Chi: MA

Leon: yeah ok be back in-

Leon: 48 hours?

Chi: Its actually more like 16.5 hours to watch but ik people won’t spend a solid 16.5 hours watching a series so yk

Chi: So I give them like 3x the actual watching time

Leon: yeah ok

Leon: cya tomorrow night

Leon: hiro toko wanna join

Hiro: yeah sure

Toko: why not

Chi: No fuck guys 

Chi: You’re all leaving me alone

Mondo: I’m not

Chi: You never watch anything tho

Mondo: *blinks*

Mondo: I’ve seen almost every musical known to mankind

Chi: 0-0

Chi: Just go watch the umbrella academy

Chi: I’ll rewatch it (again) with Kiibo

Kiibo: You’ll what

Chi: We’re gonna watch the umbrella academy

Kiibo: What’s it rated-

Chi: It’s MA15+ 

Chi: Very violent

Chi: Will shield your eyes at gore

Kiibo: Ok ty

Chi: Anybody else going to spend the next 16.5 hours in their room?

Miu: WAIT FUCK I HAVENT STARTED WATCHING IT

Chi: JWBDJSK GO WATCH IT

Chi: GET KIRUMI TO WATCH IT TOO

Kirumi: Miu I am not watching porn with you

Miu: Yes I know that plan failed

Miu: Umbrella academy

Kirumi: ...

Kirumi: I’ve already seen it

Miu: IS IT GOOD

Kirumi: Yes

Kirumi: I’ll watch it with you 

Miu: Ok let’s go

Chi: Bye fuckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also kinda lol u thought bc hiyoko just got removed again but no rlly ill add her back again


	21. I’m kinda losing brain cells from this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ha ha chapter 21 lol

Mahiru: I talked to her and she said she’ll stop insulting Mikan can you please add Hiyoko back

Chi: Ugh fine

Chi added Hiyoko

Hiyoko: ...

Mahiru: See? Not insulting Mikan

Hiyoko: ...

Hiyoko: I’m not apologising

Mukuro: UWAH IM CRYING

Mukuro: AHHHH

Sayaka: What’s wrong-

Mukuro: I HAVE NICKNAMES 

Mukuro: KETCHUP JUST FUKCING CALLED ME MUFFIN I-

Taka: Who called you Muffin?

Mukuro: YOU

Mukuro: DIPSHIT

Sayaka: That was a quick change in nicknames

Taka: “Ketchup”?

Mukuro: FUCK NO I DIDNT MEAN TO EXPOSE THAT NICKNAME

Sayaka: You can’t say it’s a nickname if you never use it 

Mukuro: i do

Sayaka: What?? On his contact info??

Mukuro: yes

Sayaka: ...Thats it ? 

Mukuro: yes

Taka: Why am I “Ketchup”?

Mukuro: bc k

Taka: ... anything else

Mukuro: also kinda bc ive seen the way u use ketchup

Mukuro: u just 

Mukuro: literally why do u just use it like that

Mukuro: i cant even explain its just so cute

Taka: ...Okay?

Sayaka: Ok I’m boutta cry can y’all stop

Mukuro: idk can i stop??

Toko: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sayaka: ...

Sayaka: Yes 

Sayaka: Yes you can definitely stop

Taka: Toko, could you please not

Mukuro: can you dont 

Taka: I don’t even understand you anymore

Mukuro: goals

Taka: Not goals, I want to understand

Toko: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Taka: What does that even mean

Sayaka: What

Sayaka: What do you mean you don’t understand that-

Taka: I mean I don’t understand 

Mukuro: ketchup she means that those lines of dialogue could also be interpreted in a dirty way

Mukuro: shes just dirty minded

Taka: ... I’m not going to ask what it could be interpreted as

Sayaka: Good

Mukuro: im gonna cry

Chi: Guys I’m bored

Sayaka: But you’re talking to us?

Chi: Yeah but I’m bored

Chi: How about I 

Chi: How about I give everybody a nickname

Chi: ACTUALLY

Chi changed the name of 48 others

Ketchup: ...

Ketchup: Did you have to

Chi: Yes

Muffin: CHIHIRO ISTG  
Chi: Would you like to be Mukuroni again

Muffin: no

Susanna: Chihiro

Chi: It can be Idol Thot again

Susanna: No

Susanna: Susanna’s good

Fox: what

Fox: in fucks

Chi: In fox*

Fox: youre dead 

Chi: Nice to see you too Leon 

Monnie: ...

Monnie: Chihiro

Monnie changed their name to Mondo

Chi: U said my full first name so I’m scared

Mondo: Good

Kyo: Can I be Kyogurt again

Koto: CAN I BE MAKOYOGURT AGAIN

Chi: Ugh fine 

Kyo changed their name to Kyogurt

Koto changed their name to Makoyogurt 

Kyogurt: Thank you

Coco: WHAT HAPPENED TO HINA RUNS DUNKIN DONUTS

Chi: But Coco-

Coco: Is it because I’m dark skinned because that’s racist 

Chi: No it’s because your hair is the colour of chocolate

Coco changed their name to Lizzie

Lizzie: Literally why

Chi: Fine

Lizzie changed their name to Hina

Chi: Keep it then

Anastasia: why

Chi: I’m sorry Toko

Chi: It’s perfect 

Toko: ... how 

Chi: Idk 

Lolita: What in fucks name

Fox: IS THAT JUNKO OR CELESTIA

Fox: WHO IS THAT

Lolita: It’s Junko bitches

Chi: ...

Goth gf: what the fuck 

Goth gf: again chi

Chi: Yes

Goth gf: im not changing it again 

Chi: Good

Joshua: What the fuck

Goth gf: wh

Goth gf: WH

Goth gf: IS THAT

Chi: Yes

Joshua: Can I change it back

Chi: No

Joshua: I’ll pay for all of your school expenses until graduation

Chi: That’s like 3 months no

Joshua: I’ll pay for all of your taxes until you’re 20

Chi: No

Chi: You’re keeping your name as this

Joshua: I’ll pay for yours, as well as both of your parents taxes until you’re 25

Chi: ...

Joshua changed their name to Byakuya

Chi: You convinced me

Chi: Now

Chi: Who wants to go shopping

Goth gf: omg me

Byakuya: I do not mean spend millions

Chi: But that’s how I interpreted it so too bad

Elevenko: Can I go,,

Chi: UGH ARE WE REALLY DOING THE “CHI HAS AN IDEA AND INVITES SOMEONE SO EVERYONE TAGS ALONG”

Elevenko: Yes because you asked who wants to go shopping you degenerate male

Chi: Chill out

Chi: You can come

Rantuwu: Me too

Elevenko: No I’m trying to get away from you

69: (guys I think she’s angry)

Chi: What

Chi: Who are you again theres too many people you could be

69: Miu

Chi: Oh ok

Chi: Rantaro/Tenko explain 

Rantuwu: So Tenko discovered she’s not into guys,,

Chi: O h 

Elevenko: I m i g h t be into guys I don’t know

Elevenko: I know I’m into girls but idk if my attraction to guys is platonic or romantic,,

Cock Itchy: Wait are y’all going break up shopping

Taro: Yuhhh

Cock Itchy: SHBDJS COMING !!

Goth gf: W h a t 

Elevenko: Wait what is my user

Chi: Funny

Cock Itchy: WHAT IS MY USER 

Chi: You can read

Cock Itchy: I do not scratch my cock !!

Chi: Why not,, it’s itchy

Cock Itchy: ...

Cock Itchy: I’m asexual,,

Chi: Wait rlly

Cock Itchy: Yeah !!

Cock Itchy: I only wear black white grey and purple and my entire thing is being a chaotic little shit and taking over the world ??

Chi: Fair enough

Chi: Join the club

Chi: We summon demons

Cock Itchy: Oo yes !!

Him yum: and we wear magic related clothing,,

Cock Itchy: ...

Cock Itchy: Chihiro what the fuck did you do to Himiko’s user

Cock Itchy: Also Himiko I think that’s just a wlw thing not an ace thing

Him yum: nyeh okay

Chi: ...

Chi: (Him)iko (Yum)eno 

Cock Itchy: Hey who wants to know why Tenko got over her crush on Himiko

Elevenko: Bc I stopped being interested ??

Cock Itchy: (Him)iko Yu(men)o

Elevenko: ...

Elevenko: I’m leaving

Elevenko: I can’t leave 

Chi: Hehehehe

Him yum: anyway

Cock Itchy: We’re still going breakup shopping right??

Elevenko: I’ll go with Himiko 

Him yum: don’t do anything to me

Elevenko: I won’t

69: Wait what breakup shopping-

Elevenko: Oh no are you joining

69: I’m joining 

Chi: WAIT WHAT WHEN

69: I just wanna join

Chi: Oh well you can join the “in a relationship” party

Chi: Speaking of which,, there will be a “dating” party and a “single” party

Chi: If you’re in a relationship you’re coming with ME

Chi: If you’re single you’re going with TENKO AND SHIT

Cock Itchy: I am not shit !!

Chi: “...my entire thing is being a chaotic little shit...” - Cock Itchy Oma, Approx a minute ago

Cock Itchy: You got me there

Cock Itchy: Anyway I’m gonna go !!

Kork: Why must you have done this to me

Chi: Idk I think I’m high again

Kirumum: ...

69: :0 CAN I PLAY MATCHMAKER

Chi: Go ahead

69: KIRUMI KORK COME SHOPPING WITH US

Kirumum: No 

Kirumum: I’ll clean the pain away

69: IM SORRY THAT IM HJORNEY AND YOURE ASEXUAL

69: Well that’s not the only reason but STILL

Chi: Uhh

Chi: May I topic change

Elevenko: Go ahead

Chi: *pulls up to your house* GET IN LOSERS WERE GOING SHOPPING


	22. This is actual hell /srs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makoto: Makoyogurt  
> Kyoko: Kyogurt  
> Byakuya: Byakuya  
> Celestia: Goth gf  
> Mondo: Mondo  
> Sayaka: Susanna  
> Mukuro: Muffin  
> Taka: Ketchup  
> Chihiro: Chi  
> Junko: Lolita  
> Hifumi: Hentai enthusiast  
> Toko: Anastasia   
> Leon: Fox  
> Hiro: Medusa  
> Hina: Lizzie  
> Sakura: Cherry  
> Hajime: Jimmy  
> Nagito: Najito   
> Chiaki: Gamer sis   
> Mikan: Meekan   
> Ibuki: E-book   
> Peko: She-ra   
> Fuyuhiko: Who gave boss baby alcohol  
> Kazuichi: Simp  
> Sonia: Simp magnet  
> Gundham: Edward  
> Akane: Milkin’ Cow   
> Nekomaru: Zeus the Destroyer   
> Teruteru: Ultimate Perv   
> Twogami: Identity Thief  
> Mahiru: The Photographer   
> Hiyoko: Banana hair  
> Shuichi: Emo   
> Kaede: Kayayday   
> Kaito: spAce  
> Maki: Makiroll  
> Kokichi: Cock Itchy  
> Rantaro: Rantuwu  
> Miu: 69  
> Kirumi: Kirumum  
> Korekiyo: Kork  
> Kiibo: Kiibo Kiibo Kii   
> Gonta: Bee Movie   
> Ryoma: Tennis boi   
> Angie: Angel   
> Himiko: Him yum  
> Tenko: Elevenko  
> Tsumugi: Smoogi

Kirumum: I CANT BELIEVE YOU MIU

Rantuwu: TENKO WHY

69: HEY IM GOING THROUGH A BREAK UP

Chi: What the fuck is happening-

Kirumum: MIU AND TENKO WERE MAKING OUT IN THE BATHROOMS

69: I WAS DRUNK

Rantuwu: How did you get drunk nobody bought alcohol-

Elevenko: Yeah but I BROUGHT alcohol

Kirumum: I need a drink...

Chi: I (emphasis on I) need a drink

69: What happened

Chi: I had a dream that I was dating Kiibo (well,, I am) and Himiko threatened to curse us with her magic if we didn’t form an ot3 with her

Him yum: what

Chi: Ikr

Kirumum: That is... seriously concerning

Himiko: why would i want to make an ot3 with you...?

Chi: Ikr

69: I’m going to bring this up- y’all need to stop shipping real people I-

Kirumum: Last time I checked that was called trafficking and is illegal

69: ...

Kirumum: I may or may not have just been informed that you didn’t mean that in the slightest

Chi: Wh

69: What

Rantuwu: Permission to change my name

Chi: If you try I’ll hack you

Rantuwu: ...

Rantuwu: Don’t hack me please I’m going through enough in single squad

Chi: HA SUCKER IM IN DATING SQUAD

Chi: Wait 

Chi: I lowkey do not feel comfortable knowing that I’m older than you-

69: Omg you are-

Chi: HOW IS HIYOKO OLDER THAN MONDO THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE

Mondo: WHAT

Chi: Wait I have an idea to prove my immaturity

Mondo changed their name to spreadmylegslikebutter 

spreadmylegslikebutter: NO FUCK NOT THIS USER AGAIN

Chi: IM NOT CHANGING IT

spreadmylegslikebutter: CHIHIRO

spreadmylegslikebutter changed their name to Cornhair

Chi: That better?

Cornhair: Yes but not by much

Cornhair: Wait I changed my password how did you get in

Chi: Because I’m a hacker

Cornhair: HOW DID YOU GET MO96SM77

Chi: Idk

Cornhair: Wait fuck I just revealed my password 

Rantuwu: Lowkey wondering if that’s in reference to anything or not 

Chi: Want me to tell you

Cornhair: N000

Chi: MO = Mondo Owada

Chi: 96, 9th June, Mondo’s birthday

Chi: SM = Sayaka Maizono

Chi: 77, 7th July, Sayaka’s birthday

Rantuwu: I-

69: That’s actually so smart

69: *changes pw to mi1611tc91*

Chi: IEHDK I CAN HACK YOU AGAIN !!

69: *changes pw*

Chi: F UH K

Ketchup: Chihiro can you tone it down on the swearing

Chi: Idk can I??

Ketchup: I was requesting you do something, not asking whether or not you were physically capable of doing it

Cornhair: HA get rekt B)

Muffin: ok no guys please help

Muffin: ketchups having coffe again

Chi: *pays you to use the other e*

Chi: But no really whys that bad

Muffin: i-

Muffin: its like,, 10pm,,

Chi: Oh

Chi: Taka energy drinks are better at this time

Muffin: N000

Cornhair: CHIHIRO IM LITERALLY A BETTER INFLUENCE THAN YOU NOW

Ketchup: I would have to second that

Ketchup: I’m only having a coffee because it’s decaffeinated and I like the taste of it

Muffin: oh ok good

Muffin: wanna binge a series

Ketchup: ...

Ketchup: Which one?

Muffin: uhhh

Muffin: educational or action?

Ketchup: How about The Theory Behind Everything? 

Ketchup: It’s about Stephen Hawking

Muffin: oh ok yes that

Muffin: my room

Susanna: I feel like I entered too late and I don’t want to ask

Anastasia: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chi: NO STOP IT

Anastasia: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chi: PLEASE

Susanna: ...

Susanna: Can I head out

Anastasia: can you head

Susanna: ...

Cornhair: Yes

Anastasia: NO SHUT UP I DONT WANNA HEAR ABOUT THIS

Chi: ISHDJSKS

Susanna: I-

69: GUYS

69: ACTUALLY NO

69: KIRUMI

69: YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE

69: “I CANT BELIEVE YOU MIU”

69: I CANT BELIEVE Y O U KIRUMI 

Kirumum: Chihiro remove me please

Chi: Nah I wanna see what’s happening

69: SOMEONE INFORMED ME THAT YOU WERE DOING THE SAME THING AS I

Chi: ...

Kirumum: What do you mean?

69: MAKING OUT IN THE BATHROOM

69: Wait

69: NOT EVEN IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM

69: HOW DID YOU GET IN THE BOYS BATHROOM

Kirumum: I was in the unisex bathroom

69: Kinky

69: But no really

69: FUCKING HYPOCRITE

Kork: ...

69: KOREKIYO

69: JANDJAKS

69: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING

Chi: Wait what’s happening I’m lost

69: *inhales and screeches* 

69: KIRUMI AND KOREKIYO WERE FUCKING MAKING OUT IN THE BATHROOM TOO

69: AND CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG

69: BUT THEY WERENT UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL

Kirumum: I don’t think I was on any drugs

Kirumum: I vaguely remember eating some brownies that Kokichi had brought

Chi: :0

Chi: COCK ITCHY GIMME THE BROWNIES

Cock Itchy: They weren’t weed brownies I swear

Kirumum: Uh huh

Kirumum: That’s why I don’t remember much

Cock Itchy: WAIT I DID IT 

Cock Itchy: GUYS I GOT KIRUMI TO TAKE DRUGS AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Chi: OMFG EJDHAMKS

Kork: ...

69: WAIT KOREKIYO DID YOU HAVE BROWNIES TOO

Kork: Perhaps

69: FUCK

69: WHY DID NOBODY SHARE

Cock Itchy: Tbh I’m surprised you didn’t steal em-

69: I FUCKING WILL NOW 

69: ILL BE AT YOUR DORMS IN APPROX 30S MISTER

Cock Itchy: *goes to rantuwus room*

Rantuwu: What

Cock Itchy: Yeah,, 

Cock Itchy: You have panta in there

Rantuwu: Grape fanta?

Rantuwu: Yeah sure 

69: HAHAAH IMMA JUST GO INTO RANTAROS ROOM THEN

Rantuwu: Are you really going to go to your girlfriends ex’s room

69: ...No

Rantuwu: That’s what I thought

69: Aight Imma watch kids tv now

Rantuwu: Ok

Rantuwu: I’m going to...

Rantuwu: Leave

Rantuwu: Bye


	23. What is this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) lots of nsfw so warning sjdbsk  
> 2) i had no idea how many characters i hc’d as trans/nb until i wrote this

69: Every time I jump my tits hit me in the face and I die

spAce: Mhm mhm

spAce: Same with my dick

69: And every time we kiss I swear I could fly

spAce: WDYM WE

69: It’s a song

spAce: Sus

69: Anyway

69: Cant you hear my chest just smack

69: I’m flat on my back

spAce: Thank god, she fucking died 

69: Rude

spAce: photo_jpg

69: Wh

69: Are you texting me from in the shower

spAce: Yes

spAce: Whats wrong with that

69: Nothing

69: Just don’t send nudes

spAce: But my nudes are only for you Miu

Emo: ...

spAce: No fuck

spAce: You too Shuichi

69: I-

69: Why do you want to send me your nudes

spAce: I don’t

spAce: I was just being straight with the homies

69: Fair point

69: I’m the master of being straight with the homies but also the master of being gay with the homies

69: I’m the master of...

69: The homies

Emo: I feel like that was a conversation I wasn’t supposed to be a part of

69: Good

69: Also,, I’m genuinely trying to do something and I think I’m going to pass out /hj 

spAce: Oh no the passing out is just a side effect of taking an 11 inch /j 

69: Where the fuck would I find someone with an 11 inch everyone I know is like a 3-

spAce: Don’t worry it’s happened to everyone I fuck

spAce: Oh you must have fallen asleep 0-0

69: Oh shit yeah no I remember

69: That’s why there was something touching my feet around 2am

69: Were you sucking on my toes

spAce: Oh yes

spAce: They were very delicious

69: Oh yes

spAce: They had a sprinkle of toe dust on them

69: Oh yeah sorry I didn’t shower yesterday lol

spAce: All good I like the toe dust

69: Oh ok,,

69: Want me to walk in the garden so my toes are nice and crusty for you tonight?

spAce: Oooh yes please

69: Ok heading outside

69: *squishes my toes amongst the dirt*

spAce: No wtf I’m joking

69: Oh ok

Fox: is buttcheeks one word or should i spread them apart 

Medusa: ...

Medusa: spread em

69: OK IM ALL FOR SEX JOKES BUT NOT THE TIME RN !!

Medusa: you literally just had a whole conversation about sex jokes

Hanako: ...

Hanako: Why wasn’t my name changed?

Chi: WHANSKDB

Hanako changed their name to Anti-Kuzuryu

Anti-Kuzuryu: It’s perfect

Chi: WAIT

Chi added Natsumi

Natsumi changed their name to Kuzuryuck

Kuzuryuck: What the fuck

Anti-Kuzuryu: It’s beautiful 

Kuzuryuck: Hanako what the fuck

Chi: ARE THERE PEOPLE IM MISSING

Gamer Sis: AHXBKS RYOTA !!

Chi: OMFG RYOTA

Chi: HOW TF DID I FORGET HIM

Chi added Ryota

Ryota changed their name to Gamer Cuz

Gamer Cuz: whats happening

Gamer Cuz: i want to watch anime

Lolita: HAHAHHAA A WEEB

Lolita: WEEB WEEB WEEB WEEB

Chi: YOU DONT DISRESPECT THE WEEBS

Chi: DISRESPECT WEEBS AND YOU LEAVE

Lolita: But then I cant commit arson :(

Chi: WHY WOULD YOU

Lolita: Because it’s fun-?

Chi: Commit arson in video games god

Lolita: Ooo ok !!

Kuzuryuck: I still don’t know what the fucks happening

Chi: Oh this is a gc lmao

Chi: For class 77 78 79 and some other people that are friends

Chi: (Ryota bc he’s my cousin, you bc ur Fuyuhiko’s sister and Hanako bc shes Mahiru’s gf)

(Author’s note: Personal hc, Ryota is cousins with Chiaki and Chihiro)

Kuzuryuck: Oh k

Kuzuryuck: WAIT TF 

Kuzuryuck: SINCE WHEN ARE MAHIRU AND HANAKO DATING ??

The Photographer: What? Jealous?

Anti-Kuzuryu: BABE STAHP

Kuzuryuck: Not at all- after all, you have to deal with her

Anti-Kuzuryu: Oh I want to KILL you right now

Kuzuryuck: DO IT

Kuzuryuck: I hope you have fun in PRISON

The Photographer: 0 - 0 

Najito: What

Jimmy: ...

Jimmy: What in fuck’s name

Najito: HAAHAHAHAH HI JIMMY

Najito: **doesnt know who that is**

Jimmy: It’s Hajime

Najito: Oh lol uhh

Najito: **accent but doesn’t know which one** hiii jimm-ay 

Jimmy: Hanako if you want to kill someone I suggest Nagito 

Anti-Kuzuryu: YALL

Anti-Kuzuryu: REMEMBER THAT TIME

Jimmy: I have a feeling-

Kuzuryuck: I don’t like where this is going

Anti-Kuzuryu: HAJIME YOU AND I WERE PAIRED UP IN CLASS

Anti-Kuzuryu: AND AND AND 

Jimmy: OHESBAK YEAH !!

Jimmy: NATSUMI WAS TRYNA FLIRT WITH ME AND I WAS KINDA SITTING THERE LIKE “LET ME LEAVE DAMN”

Kuzuryuck: SHUT UP

Anti-Kuzuryu: AND JEJDJOW I CALLED YOU OVER LIKE “HAJIME YOU GOTTA DO YOUR WORK LIKE DAMN I KNOW IM SMART BUT YOU GOTTA DO THIS TOO”

Jimmy: The sad thing is you actually said that

Jimmy: bUT

Kuzuryuck: NO SHUT UP

Anti-Kuzuryu: THEN NATSUMI WAS LIKE “GO ON,, SHE WANTS YOU”

Jimmy: THEN LIKE A SAVAGE BITCH YOU SAY “NO, YOU WANT HIM, I WANT HIM TO DO HIS WORK”

Anti-Kuzuryu: YEAH THEN SHE STARTED CUSSING AND IM LIKE “SIR NATSUMIS SWEARING AT ME”

Jimmy: AND SHE GOT DETENTION FOR TWO WEEKS WHDJIWJ

Kuzuryuck: OK THAT WAS NICE HOW ABOUT THAT TIME THAT 

Anti-Kuzuryu: That?

Anti-Kuzuryu: Exactly

Anti-Kuzuryu: You ain’t shit to me

Jimmy: AAHAHAHAH

Kuzuryuck: I’m leaving

Anti-Kuzuryu: HA I GOT HERE TO LEAVE

Anti-Kuzuryu: She can’t handle the lesbian power

Elevenko: LESBIAN POWER !!

The Photographer: How about wlw power?

Jimmy: How about queer power in general?

Gamer Sis: **nonbinary sitting**

Jimmy: Lgbtq power?

Gamer Sis: Better

Gamer Sis changed their name to Gamer Sib

Gamer Sib: This is better

Chi: HWHDKS WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT

Chi: **nonbinary sitting**

Cock Itchy: **nonbinary sitting** 

Gamer Cuz: **nonbinary sitting**

Gamer Cuz: i dont even know what were nonbinary sitting at but **sits** 

Him yum: **nonbinary sitting**

Identity Thief: **nonbinary sitting**

Edward: **nonbinary sitting**

Edward: Wait

Edward: Which mortal dared make my name this

Chi: **nonbinary sitting** 

Edward: Oh k

Edward: **nonbinary sitting**

Kork: **nonbinary sitting**

Kiibo Kiibo Kii: **nonbinary sitting**

Smoogi: **nonbinary sitting** 

Jimmy: **trans sitting**

Emo: **trans sitting**

Goth gf: **trans sitting**

Kirumum: **trans sitting**

Rantuwu: **trans sitting** 

She-ra: **trans sitting** 

Makoyogurt: Who started the trans sitting

Makoyogurt: **trans sitting** 

Fox: **trans sitting**

Cornhair: **trans sitting**

Chi: WH

Cornhair: I mean

Jimmy: Wow that’s a big squad

Fox: i-

Chi: Where is this going

Jimmy: Leaving?

Fox: go then

Fox: BUT NO RLLY MONDO WHDBSK TY FOR TELLING US

Cornhair: WHDNKW YW DUDE

Makoyogurt: S Q U A D 

Fox: ok but imma watch a show or smth 

Cornhair: ...

Cornhair: 3 generations?

Makoyogurt: ISNDKS IVE BEEN MEANING TO WATCH THAT IM JOINING YOU

Fox: OMFG YES TRANSMASC SQUAD COME JOIN

Jimmy: IM HERE AGAIN ILL BE RIGHT THERE

Jimmy: YOUR ROOM FOX??

Fox: yk my name is leon right

Jimmy: Yeah but Fox sounds cool so uh

Jimmy: Yeah

Fox: fair enough

Fox: wisnsk ill see yall in like two minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh yeah um with the tenko saying “lesbian power”,, that’s a personal hc,, i know she doesn’t have a canon sexuality. (i feel i should note that i respect people who hc her as mspec,, any hc is fine as long as she’s not straight wjdnoa)


End file.
